I come from a long line of Calvinists. Both sides of my family run thick with both Reformed Theology and debilitating Dutchness. My grandfather was a Christian Reformed minister, and I’d bet that just about every one of my family members can tell you what the acrostic “TULIP” stands for. Even my education—from elementary through college—was steeped in this troubling tradition.

I say “troubling,” but please don’t read this as me saying “Calvinists are bad people.” Some of the sweetest, most loving & generous people I’ve ever known continue to embrace the reformed tradition. But not all Calvinists are in the same camp. It feels to me like there are three main groups of Calvinists in the world right now, and only one of them is truly… Depraved (for lack of a better word):

1. People who grew up in Reformed Christianity, and for whatever reason—be it lack of exposure to competing ideas, lack of desire or willingness to question an established authority, lack of interest in or free time to devote to wrestling with theological questions, or any number of other reasons—they never considered challenging the beliefs of their established tradition. The reason they stay is not necessarily due to ignorance or indifference… It might just be inertia.
2. People who have seen the inconsistencies & dangers in Reformed Theology, started pulling on the stray snags in the sweater of their religious tradition (exclusion & homophobia & the incongruent inflexiblity of a movement built of reform, to name a few), and—rather than puling those strings until they are wearing nothing, they’ve decided to dedicate themselves to mending that old sweater. They stay because of the deep ties to and deep love for the friends & family inside Calvinism… attempting to reform Reformed religion.
3. (This is the really gross one) People who are newly attracted to the way Calvinism explains and abdicates responsibility for the darkness of their own hearts. The worst of these are the awfully loud & loudly awful “Theobros” who run in packs online, feeding off each other’s depravity, like they’re actively trying to provide the world a living proof text for the Need For A Savior. “You don’t believe in Total Depravity?!?” they say… “Check THIS out!”

In short, the first group is sort of “This is my group & I don’t really feel like changing.” The second group believes “I can change it from the inside.” And the third group is like, “Wait, you’re telling me I can be as awful as I want to people on the internet, and I get to credit it to my religion?!? I’M IN!” To be fair, there is also a fourth group that consists of “It’s just not worth it anymore… I’m out.“ I can understand & sympathize with all of the groups. Except group number three. Number threes REALLY gross me out.

I’m trying to come up with an analogy, but I’m having a lot of trouble. They all seem so implausible… Slapping the elderly? People abusing kids as their “natural” inclination? Throwing rocks at cars off of an overpass, and thinking “Everybody does it”?!? It’s just so wild to think of TOTAL DEPRAVITY as our instinctive state of being. John Calvin used phrases like “utterly perverse” and “naturally hateful to God.” He said of humans that “everything which our mind conceives, meditates, plans, and resolves, is always evil.” What kind of deep-seated issues does someone have to have to not only embrace this view of his own heart, but also ascribe it to the whole of human nature?

But there are corners of christianity—mostly male, almost totally white, and predominantly bearded—who are rediscovering Calvinism and committing themselves to being public theologians, while pushing a worldview which STARTS from a place of “We are all utterly perverse.” And here’s the thing, guys: I’m with you about the “utterly perverse” part… Just not the “ALL” part. To me, it seems totally depraved to believe that we are incapable of doing anything good. If y’all want to form a group of like-minded bros who are bound together by their belief in their own depravity, I can’t stop you. But maybe leave the rest of us out of it. Brokenness? Sure. Propensity for evil? Fine. But if you’re incapable of seeing the good that people do each day, THAT seems like an appropriate example of “utterly perverse.” And anyway, John Calvin: If we’re so incapable of doing good, how’d you come up with that “good” theological framework? Checkmate, Johnny.

These pockets of new Calvinists have an inclination toward white christian nationalism, and it is almost always coupled with a good portion of misogyny and a disposition toward fascism. And I’m not sure if it’s a chicken or an egg thing. I don’t think Calvinism necessarily breeds fascism… My gut tells me these new adherents of Reformed Theology are a result of damaged people looking for a theological landing spot that doesn’t conflict with their toxic masculinity. It’s brokenness looking for an explanation rather than seeking a solution or a remedy. If you are a person who gets pleasure from being cruel to other people, you’d probably be drawn to a theology proclaiming that deep down we are ALL sadists.

But make no mistake: This new batch of Calvinists are drawn to the doctrine of Total Depravity in the very same way some trump cultists are drawn to embracing the term “Deplorables.” And the wide crossover on the Venn diagram of these two groups is NOT a coincidence. Not sure what—if anything—can be done about it… But seeing these parallels has made it easier for me to understand these folks, and maybe it will be of some help to you as well.

Thank you for reading. If you have any ideas for how to handle people who are drawn toward Depravity & Deplorability, I’d love to hear them. And if you’d like to support me, my writing, & this blog, you can BECOME A PATRON. If you’d like to leave a tip, you can do that ON PAYPAL or by Venmoing me at chris-boeskool. Stay hopeful & stay rational… If you can manage that. Love y’all.