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Monthly Archives: January 2012
Jury Duty and a Death Sentence for Newt
Turns out I LOVE jury duty. Everybody talks about it as if it were this excruciating thing, but there is something about being me that goes really well with being a juror. Maybe it’s my thirst for justice, maybe it’s that … Continue reading
Posted in 4) All Of The Above
Tagged An Eye For An Eye, Homer Simpson, Honey Badger, Jesus, Jury Duty, Newt Gingrich, NObama, The Death Penalty, The Green Mile
4 Comments
My Almost First Time With A Middle-Aged Lady
I wasn’t always this bald. There was a time in high school (it seems like just yesterday, but really it was almost 20 years ago) when my blonde locks flipped into my eyes like some sort of skinnier, Dutcher Justin … Continue reading
Posted in 5) Not Quite Sure
Tagged Chevy Malibu, Humor, Justin Bieber, Leopard Print Bikini, Love-Struck Hillbilly, Red Dawn, Teen Wolf
5 Comments
Rob Bell and Puppies in Hell
“If millions and millions of people who have never heard of Jesus are going to be tormented forever by God because they didn’t believe in the Jesus they’d never heard of, then at that point we will have far larger … Continue reading
Taxes, The Tea Party, And Togetherness
So today, Mitt Romney made some headlines when he was asked about his tax records. “It’s probably closer to the 15 percent rate than anything,” said the man whose net worth most people estimate to be around $190 million to $250 … Continue reading
Posted in 2) Politics
Tagged Capitol Gains, Mitt Romney, PIPA, Pippa, SOPA, Taxes, Tea Party, YMCA
1 Comment
A White Guy’s Thoughts on Martin Luther King
“If you’re white and you don’t admit that it’s great, you’re an asshole. It IS great. And I’m a MAN. How many advantages can one person have? I am a white man. You can’t even hurt my feelings! What can … Continue reading
Posted in 5) Not Quite Sure
Tagged Chuck D, Colored People, Higher Learning, I Have a Dream, Louis CK, Martin Luther King Jr, Race
18 Comments
The Vasectomy…. Continued
“Nothing but good news…. There is a frog in South America whose venom is a cure For all the suffering that mankind must endure More powerful than morphine, and soothing as the rain A frog in South America has the antidote for pain … Continue reading
Posted in 3) Bathroom Humor
Tagged Frozen Peas, Mormons, Paul Simon, Percocet, Pregnancy, Recovery, Vasectomy
8 Comments
Vasectomies, Jock Straps, and Concepcion
Disclaimer: My wife is in no way responsible for the contents of this blog entry. Any embarrassment for a person or persons as a result of reading the following words should be directed at its author, and not its author’s wife. … Continue reading
Posted in 3) Bathroom Humor
Tagged Dr. Concepcion, Frozen Peas, Jock Straps, Nevernudes, Tobias Fünke, Vasectomies
11 Comments
Daniel LaRusso, Lloyd Dobler, and Jesus
There you are…. Looking up at a cheering crowd, in the middle of the All-Valley Karate Tournament, standing across the mat from the same prick that, just a month or so earlier, forced a kiss on your super-hot girlfriend at … Continue reading
Posted in 1) Jesus, 5) Not Quite Sure
Tagged 1) Jesus, Daniel LaRusso, David and Goliath, Hoosiers, Lloyd Dobler, Quakers, Rocky, The Karate Kid, Underdog
6 Comments
Ron Paul and the All-Important Christian Vote
Tomorrow, a part of this great country will do their part to determine who will represent the republicans in this year’s presidential election. It is a state whose decision could change the course of history; A state with its finger … Continue reading
