A Self-Centered Pictorial Tour Of New York City

It was my first trip to “The City That Never Sleeps”, and it was every bit as impressive as I had imagined. The skyline, the history…. the references from all those Simon & Garfunkel songs that finally made sense. It really is a beautiful city—And a lot cleaner than I had expected. There was only one time I had to direct my wife to avoid a pile of (what I can only assume was human) excrement while we were getting off of the subway. Unfortunately, the guy behind us had his head in his cell phone. But don’t feel too bad…. His shoes weren’t that great to start with.

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A building of unknown name and address made famous by Liz Lemon and the show “30 Rock.”

We flew into LaGuardia International Airport. Words to the wise: If you’re flying into LaGuardia, sit on the left-hand side of the plane (the driver’s side) if you want to have a better view of the city—as well as the Statue of Liberty (photo to come). My sister-in-law says that LaGuardia is the Walmart of airports. I disagree. It is the Dollar General of Airports. Within minutes of landing, we had our first contact with a real, live New Yorker! She was a spunky young lady with a great deal of face tattoos, who spat a giant loogie (I believe in New York they call them “Lou Gehrigs”) within inches of my wife’s shoes…. Followed by a very polite, “My bad.”

The city is filled to the brim with memorable landmarks, and over the course of our 4-day weekend, we got pictures of them all. I know that there are some other folks out there (like my wife and I before this adventure) who have never taken a trip to The Big Apple before, so I decided to let you all live vicariously through me. And because I know you all love seeing other peoples’ vacation pictures, I’ve decided to share them with you here. This photo tour of the greatest city on earth begins on the bus leaving the airport….

Here is a picture of me recognizing what I figured was probably a famous bridge and wondering, “Which bridge is that?” Turns out it was the Robert F. Kennedy Bridge. Just gorgeous! photo copy 2

After we got off the bus, we went for a walk in beautiful Central Park. One thing’s for sure: You definitely don’t encounter scenery like this in Nashville.IMG_0759

We took a trip to The Cloisters. It is a beautiful old monastery that was converted to a museum and is now part of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. This is me looking at a 500 year old tapestry that is about 15’ tall and 30’ wide. So intricately designed…. Breathtaking. IMG_0773

The Cloisters were at the north end of the island, but a brief subway trip to the southern end of the island brings you to the magnificent newly built World Trade Center—A towering and inspiring monument to the freedom that makes this country so great. IMG_0777

Speaking of Freedom and Liberty and ‘Merica, I finally got to see the Statue of Liberty…. The icon that has welcomed so many immigrants to the U.S.A. for so many years was right there in front of me. IMG_0792

In Battery Park, I got to enjoy an inspiring piece of art dedicated to all those new Americans.IMG_0791

Later that night, we stumbled by the home of Fox”News.” I decided to say hello.IMG_0823

I’ve seen it so many times on those New Year’s Eve specials, but Times Square is way more impressive in person. An occasion like this calls for a freeze frame….IMG_0824

While in Times Square, we had our first taste of actual New York Pizza.IMG_1032

If there’s one thing NYC is known for, it is its world famous cuisine. Not far from the place we stayed was a shop that is widely regarded as the finest bagel place in all of New York. We weren’t the only ones who knew about it….IMG_0805

No trip to New York is complete without seeing the majestic Empire State Building.IMG_0807

Here is Washington Square Park with its stately Washington Arch, made famous by that one scene from When Harry Met Sally. You’d recognize it if you saw it….IMG_0813

Later that day, we made a trip to the New York Public Library. My wife follows them on Instagram and says they do a really good job—You should probably follow them too. Here I am riding one of the beautifully sculpted, iconic lions that guard the front entrance.IMG_0825

We also visited the humongous Grand Central Station. It was an awe-inspiring view…. IMG_0827

None of this trip would have been possible without the kindness of our generous hosts. Such gracious and giving people—friends we had never met in person, but met through Facebook—who let us stay with them at their apartment in Manhattan. Such amazing and beautiful people…. Two awesome people who are as good-looking as they are kind (as you can tell). Truly grateful.IMG_0819

And finally, here is the city as we left it. Keep the lights on, New York. We’ll be back someday!IMG_0821

Welp, that does it…. I hope this pictorial tour of New York City helps you to feel like you were there with us. I definitely recommend it…. My only regret is that I didn’t eat more street food.

It is important to mention that the whole idea for this self-centered pictorial tour was my wife’s. She is hella funny.

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7 Responses to A Self-Centered Pictorial Tour Of New York City

  1. cloudandklaus says:

    Hysterical post! Love it. Really made me laugh.

  2. Lorna Applefield says:

    Good thing I grew up in NYC, or else I wouldn’t know it any better than I did before reading your very funny posting. You should do that in other cities as well; Paris, Rome, Amsterdam…Bon Voyage.

  3. Larry Kunz says:

    Please, please, please don’t think that sbarro is “actual New York pizza.” And, yes, you should’ve eaten more street food – starting with that hot-dog cart right next to you at the Empire State Building. I hope at least you got to eat a knish.

    All in all it looks like you had a fantastic weekend, and I’m very glad for you. I grew up close enough to NYC that I went in all the time but never bothered to do half of the “touristy” things — and now I regret having missed out.

  4. I love you. That was the funniest thing I’ve read since the ‘beard poop’ thing, about 5 minutes ago. Well done, lil’ bro.

  5. That was hilarious. The first clue was the Statue of Liberty shot. It just got better and better.

  6. Pingback: A Preemptive Eulogy | The Boeskool

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