Well, it’s official. Romance is dead. Are you happy now, Liberals? You’ve KILLED romance. Was that your goal? Because THAT’S what happened when you started questioning the lyrics to the beloved holiday classic “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” ARGHH… Look what you made me do: “HOLIDAY” classic?? I’m just going to call it what it is: It’s a CHRISTMAS classic. Trump is president now, and we can say CHRISTMAS again. It is a Christmas song about a guy who won’t take “No” for an answer… Just like Mary and Joseph wouldn’t take “No” for an answer when they were looking for a place to stay in Bethlehem.
The song was written in 1944 — A mere 24 years after the liberals demanded that women have the right to vote… Or, as I call it, “24 years after America stopped being great again.” The original score had two parts: One for “Mouse,” and one for “Wolf” (I’m betting I don’t have to tell you which part was the male part and which part was the female part) but it became famous after it was put in a movie called “Neptune’s Daughter.” Here is the video of that performance:
And as you can see, it’s purely innocent! Sure, he repeatedly puts his hands on her as she tries to leave, and he pushes her down on the couch a couple times, and he playfully removes her clothes and takes her hat to keep her from leaving… But look what she was WEARING! Do you really think she would have put on that sexy, pointy bra and chosen that shirt that showed off all that sexy arm if she WASN’T planning on spending the night? What is “flirting” if it’s not some good-natured manipulation and putting your hand on a woman’s knee after she keeps telling you NO??
And now a radio station has pulled the song from rotation. This is EXACTLY what it must have been like living in Nazi Germany. Fascism has come to America. And it’s not because we have a president who constantly lies, attacks the press, works to consolidate power, and punishes private businesses that don’t do what he wants… It’s because some snowflakes don’t want their kids listening to a song that their liberal sensibilities have deemed a little too “rapey.” This is hardly “Making America Great Again.” You know when America was REALLY great? Back when a man could club a woman and drag her by the hair back to his cave. Ahh, simpler times…
This is all the fault of the “#MeToo” era. “ME TOO??” They should call it the #NoFun era, because that’s what it is now: NO. FUN. I can’t think of a word that is less fun than “Consent.” A guy can’t even playfully refuse to let a girl leave his apartment without being accused of harassment and attempted kidnapping. Because here’s the REAL question, women: “WHAT’S THE SENSE OF HURTING MY PRIDE?” And what’s the sense of hurting the pride of other great American men… Powerful men like Harvey Weinstein and Matt Lauer and Woody Allen and Brett Kavanaugh. What’s the sense?
What kind of country would we be if we just took “No” for an answer throughout history? What if America had taken “No” for an answer when we asked Hitler to stop taking over Europe and killing all the Jews? What if we had taken “No” for an answer when we asked the Japanese to not attack Pearl Harbor (or when we asked those Japanese Americans to go to those internment camps)? What if we had taken “No” for an answer when we asked the Native Americans to give us the land WE RIGHTLY DISCOVERED that they happened to be living on? WHERE WOULD WE BE THEN?!? I mean, “Not taking no for an answer” is as American as Baseball or Apple Pie or Date Rape. So much for the good old days represented in this classic cartoon:
It’s just a New Puritanism, is what it is. The Puritans wanted to be tell people what they could and couldn’t do in the bedroom, and that’s really all this is: Liberals insisting we follow their “morals.” Sure, Puritanism was about enforcing their ideas of morality on consenting adults, and New Puritanism is about enforcing the idea of the the morality of consent… but really, what’s the difference?!? If it’s wrong to tell two men who love each other that they can’t be together, it stands to reason that it must ALSO be wrong to tell a man that he can’t be with a woman he loves… Even if it’s against her will. That’s the beauty of moral relativism…
Hot-blooded men like me can’t even whistle at a woman or let her know how sexy her body is as she walks by on the street anymore without being called a “Sexist Pig.” And now here we are, living in a time where garbage like the video below passes for “funny.” POMEGRANATE LaCROIX??? How can we be expected to get laid without getting the other person drunk first???
You know who are the REAL victims of this whole #MeToo Hysteria? Because it’s not the actual victims of sexual assault… It’s MEN, that’s who. Men are the victims. And I know, because I’M a man. And lucky for me, I’ve got me a wife, so I don’t have to worry about “consent” anymore… But I can’t even IMAGINE what it would be like to be single and have to navigate this new romantic landscape these days. WHAT DOES “ROMANCE” EVEN LOOK LIKE, IF IT DOESN’T LOOK LIKE PUSHING A GIRL BACK DOWN ONTO A COUCH, FORCIBLY PUTTING YOUR HAND ON HER KNEE, AND STANDING BETWEEN HER AND THE DOOR AS SHE’S TRYING TO LEAVE? You know what’s going to happen? We’re going to see a drop in birth rates, that’s what. Nothing kills the mood like asking a woman if she’s into it. I’m genuinely shocked that ANYONE is having sex anymore, now that flirting is illegal, and the liberals have killed romance.
And I suppose that would be a good thing if Man-Made Global Climate Change were real… But as everyone knows, that is Fake News pushed by the same people who are trying to push the Liberal Agenda of “The Morality of Consent.”
Thanks for reading! If you haven’t figured it out yet, this was satire. Different people have different feelings about this song, and I’m aware of THIS SMART TAKE on the history behind it. Regardless of your position on this song, if you can’t understand why some folks find this song problematic, you probably need a lesson in empathy. And you’re probably a person who always puts quotation marks around the word “triggered,” as if the trauma sexual assault survivors face isn’t real. Looking back at a culture of male entitlement with nostalgia is some messed up bullshit. Rape culture is real, and BS like that only works to perpetuate it. Anyway, thanks again for reading my stuff. If you like it, share it. If you’d like to support my writing, you can BECOME A PATRON. If you’d like to leave me a Christmas present on PayPal, you can do that RIGHT HERE. Otherwise, please follow me on Facebook and on Twitter.