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Category Archives: 5) Not Quite Sure
Gout, Pop, And Being A Quitter
I’m getting old. I make noises when I put my shoes on these days. Most of these noises are the natural byproduct of bending over while having a belly that is larger in circumference than the circumference of my pants. I’m pretty … Continue reading
A Bench Press, A Biskit, and Some Broken Hearts
I have rarely thought of myself as being what doctors refer to as “strong.” While I was in Cadets, a friend of mine was working on his Weightlifting Badge. His dad was one of the counselors, so he had just … Continue reading
Five Ways to Really Love Somebody
Some people are really good at giving presents–I am NOT one of those people. I am the worst. There are a few reasons why I am terrible at giving gifts: 1) I am a man–The man who is a good … Continue reading
Posted in 5) Not Quite Sure
Tagged Forgiveness, Larry King, Love, My Lovely Wife, Smartwool Socks, The Buried Life, Valentine's Day, Walmart Flowers
8 Comments
My Dad
I really struggled writing this. Not because it’s hard to say, but because there is too much. I broke off a part about forgiveness that I’ll be revisiting shortly, and I also had to leave out a delightful story about … Continue reading
Posted in 5) Not Quite Sure
Tagged 12 Steps, Airing of Grievances, Alcoholics Anonymous, Festivus, My Dad, The Big Book
8 Comments
My Almost First Time With A Middle-Aged Lady
I wasn’t always this bald. There was a time in high school (it seems like just yesterday, but really it was almost 20 years ago) when my blonde locks flipped into my eyes like some sort of skinnier, Dutcher Justin … Continue reading
Posted in 5) Not Quite Sure
Tagged Chevy Malibu, Humor, Justin Bieber, Leopard Print Bikini, Love-Struck Hillbilly, Red Dawn, Teen Wolf
5 Comments
A White Guy’s Thoughts on Martin Luther King
“If you’re white and you don’t admit that it’s great, you’re an asshole. It IS great. And I’m a MAN. How many advantages can one person have? I am a white man. You can’t even hurt my feelings! What can … Continue reading
Posted in 5) Not Quite Sure
Tagged Chuck D, Colored People, Higher Learning, I Have a Dream, Louis CK, Martin Luther King Jr, Race
18 Comments
Daniel LaRusso, Lloyd Dobler, and Jesus
There you are…. Looking up at a cheering crowd, in the middle of the All-Valley Karate Tournament, standing across the mat from the same prick that, just a month or so earlier, forced a kiss on your super-hot girlfriend at … Continue reading
Posted in 1) Jesus, 5) Not Quite Sure
Tagged 1) Jesus, Daniel LaRusso, David and Goliath, Hoosiers, Lloyd Dobler, Quakers, Rocky, The Karate Kid, Underdog
6 Comments
Gospel Choir and High-Fiving Strangers
The days of trying to answer the question “Who sings this song?” are over. It used to be that you would hear a song being played at a restaurant, someone would ask that question, and a cool thing would happen: … Continue reading
Makeup, Baldness, and The Bearded Lady
About a year and a half ago, I wrote a facebook status that said, ” I have decided that makeup is stupid. For a girl to think that she is not pretty unless she has a bunch of crap on … Continue reading
Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and Golden Calfs
Not too long ago, the wife and I both got smart phones, and they are now firmly implanted as part of our lives. Annoyingly implanted—I love it and I hate it. Every once in a while, I realize just how … Continue reading
Posted in 1) Jesus, 5) Not Quite Sure
Tagged Bil Keane, Black Friday, Cell Phones, Consumerism, Detroit Lions, Family Circus, Golden Calfs, Thankfulness, Thanksgiving
2 Comments