Tag Archives: Paul Simon

A Preemptive Eulogy

Yesterday morning I woke up, stumbled out of bed, and shuffled over to the bathroom…. And just like I do every morning, I peed for an “Austin-Powers-getting-cryogenically-unfrozen” length of time while gargling some Listerine (sure, there are other mouthwashes that don’t … Continue reading

Posted in 5) Not Quite Sure | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

The Vasectomy…. Continued

“Nothing but good news…. There is a frog in South America whose venom is a cure For all the suffering that mankind must endure More powerful than morphine, and soothing as the rain A frog in South America has the antidote for pain … Continue reading

Posted in 3) Bathroom Humor | Tagged , , , , , , | 8 Comments

I Really Don’t Care About “Getting People Saved.”

I walked out of one of my schools today and a woman in a Burka was walking toward me. It was one of the ones where everything is covered other than her face–not one of the less sexy ones with the … Continue reading

Posted in 1) Jesus | Tagged , , , , , | 11 Comments