The Boeskool

Tell Me If You Think I’m Going To Hell….

Posted on December 30, 2013 by theboeskool

This is not going to end well….

Not too long ago, I got shot in the chest. I was sitting in the driver’s seat of a parked car, and a woman stuck a gun through the passenger window and demanded that I give her all my money. She seemed extremely nervous, so I tried to calm her down and assured her I had no problem with giving her my money. She kept looking behind her, as if she was expecting someone to sneak up on her. I handed her my money, she looked over her shoulder one more time, and then pulled the trigger. It felt like someone threw a hot bowling ball at my chest. I looked down and saw blood start to expand around a little hole in my T-shirt, and I thought, “Oh my God. I’m going to die.” I started to feel very cold, I heard myself stop breathing, and then everything went black. And I died. And in that dark silence, the last thing I thought before I woke up was, “I wonder what’s going to happen next….”

Ahh Dreamscape.... Providing years worth of snakeman-filled nightmares to kids my age who had HBO.

Ahh Dreamscape…. Providing years worth of snakeman-filled nightmares to kids of my generation who had HBO.

That dream really shook me (and it wasn’t just because I watched the movie Dreamscape too many times as a kid and sort of suspected that if you died in a dream you would die in real life). It shook me because of how certain I was during the dream that what was happening to me was real. There was no “I wonder if I’m dreaming” moment when things started getting crazy. I was SURE that this dream was reality. And faced with the real situation of my life ending, my final thoughts were, “I wonder what’s going to happen next….” It made me question my salvation. It didn’t seem like the sort of question a person would be asking if that person really BELIEVED that Heaven was coming next. “Welp, that’s the end of that life! Bring on the pearly gates and the streets of gold, Lord!!!” <–THAT’S the sort of thing someone says who is filled with FAITH.

“Cry” was BY Angie Aparo, THROUGH Faith

So I started thinking…. What is “FAITH” anyway? And if faith is what gets you into Heaven, how much faith are we talking about? Or if we’re “saved BY grace, THROUGH faith, we should probably have a REALLY good understanding of the difference in meaning between those two prepositions, right? And I hope, for our sake, that those prepositions translated PERFECTLY from Greek to English, because a subtle difference might mean the difference between salvation and damnation. And what about that whole “salvation/damnation” thing–What if someone believes something different than me about Heaven and Hell? Does a person have to have a right understanding of what happens when we die in order to get into Heaven? A lot of questions….

“Streets of gold, pearly gates in the clouds–I KNEW IT!”

Here’s one way to think about this: Rate between 1 and 10 how certain you are that the things you currently believe about God are absolutely true and that, when you die, you are going straight to Heaven (1 being you are completely unsure that what you believe is actually true, and 10 being complete certainty that you’re right). Now…. Consider this: How high of a number does someone need to have in order for God to let that person into Heaven? Four? Six or higher? Does it have to be a ten? How much doubt are we allowed before we are sent to hell? Or, as you’re considering this, did you feel a deep sense of “How could I ever presume to know such a thing?” Because I did….

Faith.

The opposite of faith is not doubt…. It’s certainty. But something messed up has happened in the psyche of the Church, and a lot of people have started believing that to have faith in something means to have no doubts about it. I think some of this way of thinking has come as an attempt to take poetic language in the Bible and make it literal. For example, the writer of Hebrews speaks about faith, and depending on the version of the Bible that you are reading, it comes out different ways: In the King James Version, it says, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” In the NIV, it says, “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” The English Standard Version says, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” And then The Message says that faith is “our handle on what we can’t see.”

“Have you ever had a dream, Neo, that you were so sure was real?”

This language is clearly poetic. Hope, by its very definition, requires a lack of certainty…. But we end up with faith being described in terms of a certainty of something uncertain, a touchable part of something we can’t touch, or a handle on something invisible. And people try to turn those poetic phrases into dogma. And literalism. And it kills the power of the poetry, like a person who walks around with her hands above her head because she heard that we should always “reach for the stars.” It’s what happens when we start confusing knowledge with belief. It has to do with what we believe knowledge really is, or “epistemology.” But there are different kinds of knowing…. There’s knowing the answer to a math problem, and then there’s Knowing that I love my Grandpa, even though he is buried in the ground.

I have begun to consider myself a Missionary of Uncertainty. So many people have developed such an unwavering certainty in their beliefs–Their truth is the one and only truth, God is on (only) their side, and anyone who doesn’t share their same beliefs is going to hell. When a person believes he or she possesses an unclouded knowledge of God’s truth, it’s ~~hard~~ next to impossible to have an actual conversation with them. It’s this same sort of unwarranted confidence that allows members of congress to prevent any sort of progress, because they believe that compromising THEIR principles would be compromising GOD’S principles (and that is just not okay). It’s this same sort of unwavering certainty that hates a person that you’ve never talked to…. The same one that casts a gay son or daughter out of a home and into the streets…. And really, it’s the same sense of certainty that straps a bomb to its chest.

“Honey, look at this human bomb on the news.”

Certainty is not only annoying, but it can be really dangerous. It allows people to feel justified in their hate, but as Anne Lamott said, “You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.” Now, you might be thinking “If you’re so unsure about everything, why would we listen to you?” That’s a good question. I used to be sure about almost everything, but like many people have said before–“The more I learn, the less I know.” All I can tell you is that I have not come to this place frivolously. I know enough to understand that you shouldn’t be nearly as certain as you are. Also, consider that when describing the Kingdom of Heaven (or the Age to Come, or the Banquet, or Paradise or Heaven or whatever), if there is one point that Jesus makes over and over again, it’s that people are going to be really surprised by “who’s getting in.“

Following Jesus does not mean having all the answers, and having faith does not mean being certain. For some, this illusion of certainty is the only they have to cling to, and any threat to that feeling of certainty (such as the idea that the Earth might be a whole lot older than 6000 years, or the thought that being in a whale for three days might not be what the story of Jonah is actually about, or the suggestion that the Bible might not be as clear-cut about homosexuality as people once believed) is a threat to their feeling of safety. And uncertainty can feel scary…. Especially at first. But a faith that is honest enough to admit that it has doubts is probably also humble enough to admit it doesn’t have all the answers. And a beautiful thing happens when you admit that you don’t have all the answers–It frees you from having to ACT like you have all the answers, and it allows you to take yourself out of a position of judgment, and simply love people…. People who are doing their best to figure it all out, just like you are.

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Posted in 1) Jesus, 2) Politics, 5) Not Quite Sure | Tagged Anne Lamott, Certainty, Faith, Hell, Hope, Illusion of Certainty, Missionary of Uncertainty, The opposite of faith | 32 Comments

Starting An Argument On Christmas For All The Right Reasons

Posted on December 24, 2013 by theboeskool

Christmas might be the perfect time to start a Facebook fight. Hear me out….

How a lot of people felt about by blogging skills.

How a lot of people felt about my blogging skills.

It’s been a few days now since the whole internet lost its mind. And if you’re anything like me, you’re probably asking yourself if it’s even worth it. I’ve had a few friends say, “You know what? I’m getting off of Facebook for a while. If you want to talk to me, you can talk to me in person.” I’ve had an interesting vantage point to watch all this Duck Dynasty (I hesitate to even write those words, because people are so through talking about it) brouhaha go down, because A BLOG POST I WROTE about it went viral. It basically said “This isn’t about free speech,” “This isn’t religious persecution,” and “Let’s be nice to each other while we disagree, because if you’re mean while representing Jesus, people will think that’s what Jesus is about. And it’s not.” And then I sat back and watched as a bunch of Christians called each other idiots and morons and fools….

You can’t spell Duck Dynasty Debate without “NASTY.”

I guess what I wrote connected with a lot of people. I think part of the reason was because it wasn’t attempting to say, “Phil is a bad guy” or “Phil is a good guy,” but because it was trying to provide some perspective. So a lot of people shared it. A lot. And, as just about everyone who shared something about Duck Dynasty found out, within minutes there were often 20 comments declaring who was right and who was wrong. People got angry. And triggered beneath all of that anger and controversy was an important conversation about Homosexuality and Political Correctness and Jesus and Judgment that isn’t going to get sorted right this moment. I believe it won’t be long…. just not quite yet–Especially not when everyone is yelling at each other. The lesson that many people took from all this yelling and uncomfortableness (other than a general sense of Christians be trippin’) is that it’s just not even worth it to say anything. Nobody changes anyone else’s mind. Everyone is crazy! Why even bother speaking up? Next time I’m just going to stay out of it!!!

My favorite offensive uncle….

Sometimes I think that the internet is like a passive aggressive relative at Christmas dinner. We all know that one person–especially around the holidays–who allows everyone else at the table to remain comfortable, as long as we agree to play by his or her rules. It’s that dysfunctional silence after a racist uncle says something he’s aware was wildly offensive, but, with his eyes, dares someone to point it out. It’s the knowledge that if you respond to that in-law’s rant with something like, “Actually, I believe ObamaCare is going to help a whole lot of people, and I think that’s a pretty cool thing,” it is going to be met by such furious and righteous anger that she is going to make things miserable for EVERYONE. It’s quietly enduring a father’s homophobic joke in order to keep the peace. Everyone at the table has been conditioned to know that it’s best to just not say anything at all.

People use these same tactics on the internet as well. If you decide to question social norms or debate the status quo or (God forbid) challenge people’s worldview, people will respond by trying to make things as uncomfortable as possible. What they’re doing is attempting to teach the people around them–with their anger and their insults and their CAPS LOCK–that if you rock the boat, I’m going make sure the fit hits the shan. And it’s even worse online than it is at the Christmas table, because not having to look someone in their eyes allows people to be even meaner than usual. There are people out there (quite a few, actually) who will go through the trouble of setting up a new eMail address just so they can anonymously go onto the comments section of a blog like mine and call a stranger a “faggot.” And we see these sorts of reactions, it starts to look like the problem is just too big. It’s no use. If I speak up and attempt to speak some sanity into all that craziness–If I try to speak some love into all that hate, nothing will change. It’s just not worth it. And the world starts to feel more and more hopeless. And cynicism sets in….

And the bright star is directly over Bethlehem…. NOW!

But Christmas is no time for cynicism. Christmas is a time for hope. The Christmas story is a story of speaking love into hatred. It’s the story of a dysfunctional family sitting around a table where everyone has learned that you don’t rock the boat, but having a Father who loved us enough to speak one true Word into that dysfunction, knowing full well what the consequence would be. Christmas is the story of a God who looked at a dysfunctional world and said, “It’s worth it.” It’s the story of a light in the darkness, like a bright star in the night sky. It’s a story of encouragement, and it’s a story of hope for the hopeless.

Over the past few days, I have literally had hundreds of people (whom I’ve never met) tell me about how unchristian and hypocritical and stupid I am (and those were just the comments on my blog. I can’t even imagine all of the stuff that was said on the Facebook comments). I watched as people took an attempt at a call for tolerance and a rational, kind conversation, and turned it into a place for people to take a belligerent dump all over strangers who happen to believe something different than they do. But the most discouraging part about this whole ordeal for me has been the people who tried to stand up for their gay friends and neighbors, and after the dust settled, looked at their decision to speak up and said, “It wasn’t worth it. Next time I’m going to stay out of it.”

They don’t look like terrorists, but they are.

NO!!! That is not the lesson to learn from this! Don’t get me wrong–I’m not saying that every time someone writes something ignorant or hateful on Facebook, we have to respond to it. We have to choose our battles and be wise, and sometimes wisdom tells us to just keep our mouth shut. If our silence comes from a place of wisdom, that’s one thing, but if it comes from a place of hopelessness–If it comes from a place of cynicism–that is not okay. Not at Christmas. Not ever. We can’t stay quiet just because a bunch of jackasses try to make things as uncomfortable as possible and start calling people names and trying to hurt feelings. These people are internet terrorists, setting off bombs of hate in public places, trying to make us all afraid to say anything of any real importance, and conditioning us all to STAY OUT OF IT.

This is us.

And “staying out of it” is a very sane response to all this craziness. The sane ones understand that they’re probably not going to change crazy’s mind. But here’s the thing: If the only people who are sharing links, who are posting comments, who are saying what they believe…. If the only people who are speaking up about the important stuff are the crazy ones, then to a giant portion of the people looking on, it’s going to seem like the whole world is crazy and mean and worthless. And it’s not! It’s a world that God looks at and says, “It’s worth it!” And we, the ones who call ourselves followers of Jesus, have a responsibility to speak life into a world full of death. To speak love into hatred. To speak truth into lies. To speak sanity into craziness. And to speak light into darkness. We have a responsibility to not let the only voice that the world hears be the voice of the guy yelling the word “faggot.” We’re probably not going to change that guy’s mind, just like we’re probably not going to change the mind of that old, passive-aggressive aunt at the Christmas table…. But there are kids watching, and we have a responsibility to let them know that this is not how things work.

The last time I saw my father alive was at my family’s Christmas party. His anger and dysfunction and addiction hung in the air like a lead blanket. He could control a whole room full of people with the threat of how uncomfortable he was able (and willing) to make it for them. I know all about the silent approval of dysfunction. When my dad exploded on the room with a litany of offenses that day, we all looked on in stunned silence. When his finger suddenly pointed at my sweet wife, the only response available to me was anger. Looking back now, I realize he was only able to make things as uncomfortable as we were willing to let him. And I was only as offendable as I allowed myself to be. A loving reaction–a strong reaction–A Jesus reaction would have been compassion and understanding and an offering of help. Instead, my reaction was the words, “We’re leaving.” And those words still haunt me….

If you imagine Morgan Freeman reading this post, it’s only going to get better.

At the end of the movie “Seven,” Morgan Freeman’s character says the words, “Ernest Hemingway once wrote, ‘The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.’ I agree with the second part.” So here’s the last thing I’ll say: If you are unable to respond to ignorance and hatred in a loving way, then please (and I’m talking to myself here too), do us all a favor and keep your stupid mouth shut. But if you are in a place where you are able and have the opportunity to speak life and love and truth and sanity and light into an otherwise dysfunctional world, don’t you DARE stay silent because you think “it’s not worth it.” Not at Christmas. Not ever. It IS worth it.

Posted in 1) Jesus | Tagged A light in the Darkness., Christmas Arguments, Duck Dynasty, Dysfunction, Internet Terrorists, Jesus, Uncle Buck | 45 Comments

5 Things To Remember When Discussing This Duck Dynasty Mess

Posted on December 19, 2013 by theboeskool

“Just when I thought I was out…. They pull me back in.” ~ Michael Corleone

Nothing could have prepared me for the shock of finding out that this guy thinks gay people are going to hell….

If you haven’t already heard, you will shortly: A&E has suspended some dude (I don’t know what his name is, and I really don’t even care enough to Google it) from the show Duck Dynasty for some offensive comments he made about homosexuals in an interview with GQ. I’m not going to focus on what was said in the interview…. If you care, you can read the whole interview HERE, or you can read some of the homophobic highlights HERE. Myself? I really don’t care what he said. There is absolutely nothing surprising or noteworthy about an old, white, southern, Christian hunter being grossed out about gay sex or believing that all the gays are going straight to Hell. There is nothing rare about this.

There is also nothing surprising or noteworthy about a company suspending an employee because of their personal behavior. It happens all the time. I work for a organization that educates kids about differences, and if I did an interview with GQ where I said that I think that retarded (if you are a person who still uses this word, you should probably READ THIS) people are disgusting and they are all going to hell, I would be a fool not expect to get fired from my job.

Watching Facebook arguments.

What is noteworthy is the conversation that is going to take place over the next couple days on social media. I say “conversation,” but really it’s mostly going to be a bunch of angry people who are certain that God is on their side typing in ALL CAPS. And I say “on social media” because people (for whatever reason) feel okay about typing things on the internet that they would NEVER say to a person’s face. But before you let yourself get knee-deep into all the arguing and debate and noise, here are a few things to keep in mind:

1. Freedom of Speech does not mean “Freedom to say whatever you want without any consequences.” This should be one of those things that goes without saying, but apparently, it needs to be said. We all have the freedom to go on TV and scream “My boss is a jackass!” But that freedom comes with some ramifications….

If the only kind of prayer that you want in schools is prayer to the God that you believe in, then you don’t REALLY want prayer in schools.

2. There is also free speech that you don’t agree with. You are not some sort of “Patriot, fighting for the First Amendment rights of all Americans” if the only time you get upset about a person’s “rights being trampled” is when it happens to people who think exactly like you. If you think of the First Amendment when hearing people saying “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas,” you are very, very confused. And if the only free speech that you support is speech that you agree with, that doesn’t make you a “patriot.” It makes you a hypocrite. And that’s something completely different.

Something about these dudes and the word “Antibacterial” don’t go together very well.

3. Any plans for some grand act of support (probably by “Christians”) for this Duck Dynasty guy will do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to actually support him, but it will do plenty to drive an even bigger wedge between the Church and the LGBT community. Please think about this for a moment–This guy is a gazillionaire…. You can’t walk through a Walmart without knocking something off a shelf that has his face on it. He does not need your support. But if people plan some sort of “Wear Camo to Work” day in support this guy (just like the whole “Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day” to support Dan Cathy’s First Amendment rights to financially support groups that actively work against equal rights for the LGBT community), what you will accomplish is hurting and alienating the very people you believe are going to hell unless they change…. Does that seem like a good strategy to you? Me neither. Also, it will have the added effect of making my damn head explode….

My favorite DD cast member, modeling one of their highly successful antibacterial bandages.

4. This is NOT religious persecution. I cannot stress this enough. He did not get suspended for his religious beliefs. He was suspended because what he said was completely offensive. There are plenty of Christians (many of my friends, in fact) who believe that being gay is a sin and marriage should only be between a man and a woman, yet they could have still answered those questions with love and humility. Someone might use Bible verses to claim that interracial relations are an abomination and say “Anyone who commits the sin of miscegenation is heading straight to Hell” and call it freedom of religion, but really…. It’s just old school hatred. Hatred is not a Biblical belief.

5. And lastly (and most importantly), imagine that there is a gay person reading the things you are writing. Because guess what…. There will be. Please don’t separate the ISSUE from the PEOPLE. Imagine that there is someone reading the words you are writing who is trying to get a sense of what this Jesus guy is all about. Imagine a person reading your words who is just as sure of their same-sex attraction as you are of your opposite-sex attraction. Imagine that person has only ever heard hatred coming from people who call themselves Christians, and he or she is just about ready to give up. Imagine looking into a person’s eyes and saying the hate-filled things you are getting ready to write, instead of looking into computer screen. Maybe even imagine one of your kids has come out to you, and he or she is reading your words. And then finally, think of a time that you have been wrong about something in the past, and imagine that this issue of “how sinful it is to be gay” might be one of those times.

I hope this helps…. And if you’re one of the people who has been hurt by the hate and ignorance and judgment over that is already everywhere on the internet, just know that the folks who are spewing all that hate are not really representing Jesus. Jesus said, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples: If you love one another.” So that’s the way you’ll know. Let’s keep it clean, internet.

***Oh, and I almost forgot!***
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“Sorry folks. Shitter’s full!!” If you’re thinking about writing a comment that tells someone else how stupid they are, kindly take that crap somewhere else….

***OH MY GOD, READ THIS BEFORE YOU LEAVE A COMMENT!!!***
Please, please stop calling each other names and being so mean in the comments. What started out as kind of ironically amusing, has just become a beacon of discouragement. Read what I wrote–I don’t care what he said. I understand that he said it. I have probably said very similar things before I got a little more clarity on the situation. I’m sure he’s a nice guy. This post was about a few things: How this is not a free speech issue (it’s not), how a having a giant “Stand With Phil” rally will only work to further alienate the LGBT community from the arms of the God who loves them, and how we all (but especially those of us claiming to follow Jesus) should think about how the things we write will be read by people who are gathering information about what Jesus is like. Is there some sort of site that bombs comment sections with ignorant, hateful comments in order to make Jesus look bad??? What in the world, people….

Posted in 5) Not Quite Sure | Tagged 5 Things To Remember, Discussing Duck Dynasty., Duck Dynasty, Homosexuality, Jesus, The Church | 1,207 Comments

The Parable of the Tickets To WonderLand

Posted on December 10, 2013 by theboeskool

There’s no place like WonderLand! Except maybe Cedar Point…. Cedar Point is pretty awesome.

In all the land, there was no other town like Clearview. Just outside of Clearview there was an amusement park being constructed called WonderLand, and though no one knew exactly what it was like, you could tell by the colored lights and the towering roller coasters that in all the land, there was no place as fun and impressive as WonderLand. The person behind the construction of WonderLand was a man named Edward Manuel, and in all the land, there was no one as influential and powerful and wise as Mr. Manuel. He had decided to build WonderLand for everyone, because in all the land, no one loved people more than Edward Manuel.

There’s always at least one smart ass….

If you asked any of the residents of Clearview, their town was clearly the best. A stranger passing through might not even be able to tell, but the residents would be happy to point out how pleasingly the birds sang, how soft and warm the wind would blow, and how the blooming trees smelled sweeter there than anywhere else. The streets bustled with town pride. On Friday nights, the whole town would show up to cheer on their football team–Especially when Clearview played their big rival, Sunnyview. It was a rivalry that went back hundreds of years…. That game between the Clearview High Crusaders and the Sunnyview Saints always seemed to bring out the worst in everyone. The kids would make signs that said “Our town is the best!” or “More like CLOUDYview!” or “You guys are going to burn in Hell!” Things got pretty intense….

People felt like this, and imagined it was going to be like Wonka's factory…. Only without the little creepy purple dudes.

People felt like this, and imagined it being like Wonka’s factory…. Only without the little creepy orange dudes.

It was into this intensity that Edward Manuel decided to announce the upcoming Grand Opening Celebration of WonderLand. The construction and last minute details took up much of his time, so his son went into the town to let them know what was happening and hand out tickets for the event of a lifetime. Usually, if you wanted an invitation for an event like this, you had to do something really great at work, or you had to know someone important, or you had to be rich enough to pay for it. But for this celebration, it wasn’t about what you did or who you knew or how much money you had…. These tickets weren’t for sale. To get a ticket, all you had to do was ask for it.

They’re hard-selling this one.

People had very different reactions to those tickets. Some people asked for a ticket, and some people didn’t. Others never even heard about the tickets! Some had been scammed by ticket giveaways before, and they figured this one was fake as well. Some used to have a ticket, but lost it. Some took a ticket, but they were never really sure that it was actually going to work. Some felt like they needed to pull their ticket out and show it to every single person they met, letting others know how much THEY needed a ticket. Some seemed to only hang out with other ticket holders. Some even started turning up their noses at people without a ticket, because some–and this is the strangest thing–started feeling like the simple act of asking for a ticket meant that they had somehow earned their admission…. They started to believe that they DESERVED that ticket.

Yeah…. This is pretty much the opposite of a loving father.

Yeah, umm…. I’m pretty sure that this is the exact OPPOSITE of a loving father.

The son tried to explain that his dad wasn’t giving out tickets because of how good they were, but because he loved them. He wanted it to be an act of kindness…. Something that wasn’t based on what people deserved, but instead something that was based on how much he loved them. Inside the town, everything was based on “what people deserved,” but for this big party he was throwing, he wanted things to be different. He didn’t want people getting in because of something THEY did–He wanted it to be because of something HE did.

I think I’ve heard this guy preach before….

Many people suspected that Edward Manuel had done things this way because he wanted the people of the town to be so inspired by this act of love that they would love each other in this same way–A love that comes as a response to being loved is a powerful thing. For so long, people had played by a set of rules that said, “You get what you deserve,” but with this WonderLand, these tickets, this son…. With one act, he had shown them a different way. A better way. A way that didn’t focus on people getting what they deserved, but instead, a way that acknowledged that everyone–no matter who they are–deserved to be loved.

But really, no one knew for sure exactly what was going in Edward Manuel’s mind when he decided to do this act of extravagant love. How could they?

Who started THIS one?!?

Years went by without an opening…. There were rumors surrounding the Grand Opening of WonderLand. Some people thought WonderLand was never going to open, and others swore up and down that it was going to open very, very soon. Some people thought that only certain special tickets would actually get you in, others thought that tickets had to be validated somehow, and still other thought that people would be able to get in even if they didn’t have a ticket. Someone even started a horrible rumor that everyone who didn’t get into WonderLand was going to get tortured…. FOREVER!! This scared a lot of people, even though it didn’t seem to make a lot of sense. This didn’t sound like Edward Manuel–Especially not as the son described him. He was a powerful man, and certainly there was enough room in WonderLand…. It would make him seem quite monstrous to let all those people without tickets get TORTURED!!!

But again, no one really knew for sure how it was going to go. These were all just rumors–None of the people from the town had ever even met Edward Manuel face-to-face…. They were all just going off of the word of the one who was handing out the tickets.

SPOILER ALERT: My family and I TOTALLY get into Wonderland…. Notice my "Ask me about my Religion & Politics T-Shirt.

SPOILER ALERT: My family & I TOTALLY get into Wonderland! Notice my “Ask me about my Religion & Politics” T-Shirt.

Finally, the day came for the Grand Opening, and the line to get in wound back and forth. The people standing in line looked around, and many were very surprised at what they saw. They were surprised to see people from Sunnyview standing in line–Many people had assumed, for some reason, that the tickets were only passed out in Clearview. They were also surprised to see people waiting in line who they knew for a FACT did not have a ticket–Did they think they were going to get in without a ticket!??! And most surprising was seeing the person who everyone somehow immediately recognized as Edward Manuel himself, standing at the gate and working the turnstile.

SERIOUSLY?!? Who let THESE guys in? This is NOT FAIR!!!

As the line grew nearer to the entrance, people with tickets could clearly see Mr. Manuel waving in people who had no ticket. Sometimes, he would even signal to have some of those people in the back of the line come up to the front! Seeing this stirred deep memories of watching other kids open presents, and deep feelings of “No fair!” Some people began to grumble, “What the hell is this?!?! HE doesn’t have a ticket. I Have a ticket!!” Even some of the ones who believed the ugly rumor about ticketless folks getting tortured seemed genuinely disappointed that people without tickets were being let in. They yelled, “What’s the point of this ticket anyway??” They honestly didn’t know. They thought it was all about WonderLand…. When it was always about their heart. They thought of WonderLand like a lifeboat on a cold sea, with its passengers pushing away drowning people with their oars, frightened that too many people would capsize the boat.

Still, other people cheered when Edward Manuel waved the ticketless people in. Many of those ticketless people were their friends, and they had held onto hope that they would get to ride a few rides and drink a few beers with them in WonderLand. “It’s his park. He can do what he wants,” they said. “It’s not like I earned this ticket anyway. It was a gift! Am I any more deserving of admission that that person?” It was a good question….

And then there’s this.

But the important question was never about who’s getting into WonderLand and who’s not…. Who could know that? Who could ever claim to know the mind of a man like Edward Manuel? The question was always about your heart. Are you the sort of person who feels like you’ve been wronged when someone is let in without a ticket? Or are you the sort of person who holds onto hope, who applauds grace being extended to someone who is not you, who cheers like crazy when someone some poor, ticketless soul gets waved in from the back of the line? Which sort of person would you rather be….

Posted in 1) Jesus | Tagged E. Manuel, Parable of the Tickets For Wonderland, Religion, Salvation, WonderLand | 35 Comments

The Unforgivable Sin Of Bumper Stickers

Posted on December 5, 2013 by theboeskool

A few years ago, a study on road rage showed a positive correlation between the number of bumper stickers that were on a car and the likelihood of the driver to lose it and freak out on somebody. It didn’t matter what the bumper sticker said– Someone with stickers that say “COEXIST” or “JESUS SAVES” was just as likely to rage out as someone with stickers that say “OBAMA BIN LYIN” or “MORE TREES, LESS BUSH.” The study showed that the sort of person who felt compelled to put a sticker on their car was also the sort of person who was more likely to take a tire iron to someone else’s windshield.

This monstrosity pulled up next to me at a light. He must be a really good Christian to have such a nice vehicle!

Personally, I love reading people’s bumper stickers. When I moved to the south, I noticed that there seemed to be a whole lot more stickers on cars that were designed to let the other drivers on the road know “This car belongs to a Christian”–A whole bunch of “Jesus Fish” and “Got Jesus?” and warnings about the Rapture…. and they always seemed to be right next to another sticker proclaiming some sense of Nationalism…. and that one was right next to another sticker letting the world know that they were also a republican. I used to let myself get angry at this deranged rear end cocktail of stickers. It read like some sort of messed up equation:
US Flag + W sticker = Jesus fish R²
NRA Membership
It might seem like a lot of stickers, but there is a lot of room on the backs of those SUVs….

But I learned very fast: If you’re going to live in Tennessee, you can’t let yourself get pissed off at every stupid bumper sticker you see. You’d spend way too much of your day being annoyed and angry. Now, if I see someone with an offensive or ignorant or just plain mean bumper sticker, instead of visualizing them in a fiery crash, I try to find a way to feel sorry for them….I can forgive quite a bit this way.

I can forgive the ones that are just plain dumb….

Oh…. You poor thing.

You probably think you’re helping instead of hurting….

I hope you don’t close your eyes when you pray.

I wasn’t before, but because of your heart-felt bumper sticker, I will now!

Bless your sweet, ignorant heart….

I can forgive the ones that equate Christianity with violence….

Nothing goes together like a cross and a gun….

You probably just don’t know any better….

No, sweetie…. Just…. No.

I can forgive the confusing ones….

You probably wanted that to say “Another Christian Against Bush,” but you should know it reads like “Another Against Christian Bush.” That’s…. not the same.

I don’t blame you any more than I blame a curb that I scrape my wheel on….

No, Honey…. It just makes you look silly and mean.

I can forgive the gross mixing of Jesus and Nationalism….

An Ichthus filled with the stars and stripes. How…. Quaint.

Hey, that’s nice! Oh wait, Psalm 109:8 says, “May his days be few; may another take his place of leadership?” I guess that’s not very nice at all.

I can forgive the blatantly Islamophobic ones….

Aww. Bless your heart. You need to learn a little more.

It will also never be overrun with man-eating Tigers, as long as I’m alive!!!

Wait… what? I just…. I’m sorry. I don’t even know where to…. What??

On my best day, I might even be able to forgive this….

Maybe you were raised by a…. No. Maybe you hit your head on a…. No. I’m totally lying. I can’t forgive this.

You’d think that with all this practice forgiving people for their ignorant bumper stickers, I could handle just about anything. You’d be wrong. There is one thing that a person can put on their car that–no matter who the car belongs to–I immediately lose all respect for that person. Even if the other stickers on your car have some redeeming value…. You might even have some other cool bumper stickers like these on your car:

In real life, you could be the most upstanding citizen in the town, with a soup kitchen in your living room and a homeless shelter in you basement…. But here’s the deal-breaker: If you have a picture of Calvin, from Calvin & Hobbes, peeing on something, we can never, ever be friends. I don’t like you. I am against everything you stand for, from this day on. It is, in my bumper sticker world, an unforgivable sin. I don’t care what he’s peeing on….

This….

Or this….

images-16 Or even this…

Unknown-8 Not even this….

If you are one of these people, do not talk to me or make eye contact of any sort. And please, for the sake of society and in the name of everything good, take that stupid sticker off your car. This has been a public service announcement from The Boeskool.

What are some of the worst bumper stickers you have seen? Or your favorites?

There you have it…. the follow up to the Pope Francis blog. I wasn’t sure what to write about. Thanks to everyone who read it and shared it–It is far and away my most read post ever, and a week later, its per hour views are still climbing. So fun. And if you haven’t subscribed yet, you should…. Thanks again!

Posted in 5) Not Quite Sure, Uncategorized | Tagged Bumper Stickers, Calvin Peeing on things, Islamophobia, Obama, Unforgivable Sin, Worst Christian Bumper Stickers | 25 Comments

10 Things Pope Francis Has Done That Make Me Consider Being Catholic

Posted on November 24, 2013 by theboeskool

When I was a kid, there were Christians, and then there were Catholics–The two were mutually exclusive. I knew OF Catholics (You got your Pope John Paul II, you got your Mother Teresa…. Actually, that’s probably about it), but in the little Dutch-Reformed-Calvinist-Protestant nook of the country that I grew up in, I don’t think I ever met an actual Catholic. I may have met one or two and just not known about it–In those parts, it wasn’t the sort of thing you advertised. But as far as I was concerned, Catholics were about as foreign to my version of Christianity as the Buddhists, the Muslims, and the Jews.

It’s weird thinking about that now–How, for most of the world, “Catholic” was synonymous with “Christian,” but for me (and many others), they were just that screwy religion who prayed to Mary for some odd reason, and had all those saints, and the priests forgave your sins in a confessional after they told you to go rub a pearl necklace…. It all seemed about as far-fetched as Scientology. For so many other people around the world, the face of Christianity was the Catholic Church, but for me and many others, “Catholic” and “Christian” were very different, and the face of the Catholic Church was the Pope. And all I really knew about the Pope was that he was the dude with the pointy hat who looked vaguely like Johnny Carson….

“Heeeere’s Johnny Paul 2!” –The US Women’s Soccer goalie, Francis, and Sarah Palin…. *opens envelope* “Name a Hope, a Pope, and a Dope.” HeyOOOH!!!

My how things have changed. If you can’t admit that Pope Francis is awesome, there is either something wrong with you or you just haven’t been paying attention. Just in case you haven’t been paying attention, here is a short list of 10 things (in no particular order) of some of the amazing things Pope Frank (his friends call him Frank) has done so far that make me consider converting to Catholicism:

Renault–The Donkey of cars….

1. GETTING RID OF THE POPE-MOBILE It’s really hard to love people from behind a thick sheet of bulletproof glass. After Pope JP2 got shot, they tried to keep the Pope safe by constructing the PopeMobile, but Francis has ditched it. When he was elected, he rode with the other Cardinals in the minibus. Not only that, but instead of riding around in the the Mercedes PM, he got himself this 20 year old Renault with almost 200k miles on it for when he wants to drive to the Vatican City Taco Bell for a late night snack. It’s not near as safe, but something tells me this Pope is not too concerned about dying. In the words of Obi Wan Kenobi, “You can’t win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.” Makes sense…. Jesus rode a donkey.

2. SUGGESTING THAT HE MIGHT SEE ATHEISTS IN HEAVEN This one might ruffle some feathers. In a Homily, Pope Francis suggested that doing good might be more important than believing the right things and he said, “The Lord has redeemed all of us, all of us, with the Blood of Christ: all of us, not just Catholics. Everyone! ‘Father, the atheists?’ Even the atheists.” I know, right? Where would he get such a blasphemous idea?!? Answer: Jesus–who suggested that the Priest and the Levite (who believed all the right things) weren’t doing as good of a job of keeping the commandment to “love your neighbor” as that godless Samaritan. Another answer: The Bible–That says, “He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.” (I John 2:2)

3. HE IS NOT TOO COOL FOR TWITTER

4. FIRING “THE BISHOP OF BLING” When a German Bishop named Franz-Peter Tebartz-van Elst spent $42.7 million on a house renovation (with $475,000 for walk-in closets and a $20,000 bathtub), Pope Francis suspended him. And then sent his ass to a monastery. And now they’re thinking about turning his lavish residence into a soup kitchen to feed poor people. Awesome.

5. NOT FREAKING OUT WHEN THIS KID INTERRUPTED HIS TALK Makes sense. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.”

6. PISSING OFF SARAH PALIN If you are making Sarah Palin feel uncomfortable, you are probably doing something right. Sarah said, “He’s had some statements that to me sound kind of liberal, has taken me aback, has kind of surprised me.” You think THAT’S liberal, you should hear some of the things this Jesus guy said….

7. TOUCHING, KISSING, AND PRAYING WITH THIS DISFIGURED MAN
You’ve probably seen this picture before, but look at it again. Imagine being this man and living with this skin condition. Imagine learning to expect the horrified looks as strangers see you. Imagine getting used to people keeping their distance. Now imagine this little old man smiling at you and calling you over. Imagine him touching the sides of your face. Imagine him pulling you in, and kissing your forehead. It is just too much for me to handle. But it makes sense…. Jesus didn’t just heal the lepers–He TOUCHED them.

8. NOT TAKING “THE POPE SUITE” AT THE VATICAN
Pope Francis asked to reside in a more modest apartment at the Vatican, and even makes his own meals. He sticks to the plain white robe, and has asked the other people in leadership to tone it down as well. He said, “This I ask you: Be shepherds, with the ‘odor of the sheep.’ Make it real.” He works hard at portraying modest living and staying humble. It’s hard to relate to the common man when you’re sitting on a golden throne. When he found out that they put up a statue of him outside a Cathedral in Buenos Aires, he asked them to take it down.

Freaking. Awesome.

9. HE WASHES FEET.
Not just any feet–He is the first Pope to ever wash a WOMAN’S feet (Yeah, I know, he is not calling for women to be able to be priests yet, but still…. This is a pretty big deal for the traditionally patriarchy of the Catholic Church). And it wasn’t just any woman’s feet that he washed–She was a MUSLIM woman. And it wasn’t just any Muslim woman’s feet that he washed–She was a Muslim woman who was an INMATE at a nearby PRISON. Completely, totally, and in all other ways–KICK ASS!

10. SPEAKING OUT ABOUT HOW CAPITALISM SCREWS POOR PEOPLE
Just recently, Pope Francis released an “Apostolic Exhortation” that laid out poverty and economic inequality as two of the main concerns of this Papacy. He used strong terms like “idolatry of money” (reminds me of someone) and speaks of unfettered capitalism as “a new tyranny” while praying and pleading with lawmakers to work toward providing all people with “dignified work, education, and healthcare.” Look at this crazy, Palin-Pissing-Off quote from the document: “Just as the commandment ‘Thou shalt not kill’ sets a clear limit in order to safeguard the value of human life, today we also have to say ‘thou shalt not’ to an economy of exclusion and inequality. Such an economy kills…. How can it be that it is not a news item when an elderly homeless person dies of exposure, but it is news when the stock market loses 2 points?” Seriously, Francis? Where do I sign up?

And here’s a bonus one: HE PICKED AN AWESOME NAME
He chose the name Francis after St. Francis of Assisi. I can’t even start to go into all the reasons why this other Francis was awesome, but just know he is. You can learn some more about St. Francis of Assisi by CLICKING HERE.

Just stop, dude…. We already love you.

So yeah…. I just love this guy. But just about everybody is loving Pope Francis right now. And here’s the thing: It’s not Catholicism that is so attractive to people. It’s looking like Jesus. Isn’t it interesting how a simple little thing like acting like Jesus can get the whole world excited about the Pope? I mean, I get excited when ANYBODY–regardless of their creed–starts acting like Jesus! Gandhi, the Dalai Lama, you name it…. The truth is the truth, no matter where you find it. Christianity does not have a monopoly on the truth.The Bible DEFINITELY does not have a monopoly on the truth. The power and significance of Jesus’ life is NOT limited to the words that are written in the Bible. At the end of the book of John, he says, “And there are also many other things which Jesus did, the which if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world itself would not contain the books that should be written.” (John 21:25) So basically, after writing all about Jesus’s life and going through 21 chapters telling about all the stuff Jesus said and did, he says, “Oh yeah, and he did a whole lot of other stuff as well. This is NOT exhaustive.”

Anyway, I love how this Pope is being an example of Jesus’ love for the world. We may have very different theologies and views on some really important topics, but our sames are way bigger than our differences. He is walking the walk. And he is a walking reminder to me that what you do and how you love is way more important than what you believe. Keep up the good work, Francis.

***A QUICK UPDATE***

So, it turns out that a lot of people are sharing this post, which I think is fantastic. If you like what you have seen/read here, and you’d like to see more of it, you can subscribe to this blog at the top right hand side of this page and you’ll get an email when there is a new post. FOR FREE!! Or, if you want to keep up via Facebook, you can like my page on the righthand side as well. Or, you can follow me on Twitter at https://twitter.com/TheBoeskool –I don’t think you’ll be disappointed…. But if I do disappoint you, I’ll at least try to do it while making you laugh.

***ONE MORE UPDATE***

As a response to the sometimes vibrant, sometimes obtuse, sometimes loving, sometimes just plain mean conversation that has been taking place in the comments section, I have written this story: The Parable of the Tickets To WonderLand. Many people, it turns out, are very offended at the idea that God might decide to let Atheists or people from other religions into heaven. I figure, since we don’t know for sure, it’s at least a good thing to HOPE for! Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoy it.

Posted in 1) Jesus | Tagged Awesome things about Pope Francis, Bishop of Bling, Capitalism, Consider Being Catholic, Getting rid of the Popemobile, Pope Francis, Pope with Disfigured Man, Sarah Palin, Washing Feet | 358 Comments

Writing A New Story For Humankind

Posted on November 12, 2013 by theboeskool

Here are the words of this speech by Óscar Arias, Nobel Peace Prize Laureate and former president of Costa Rica. I heard this call to action the other day, and I was so inspired by it…. I went online to look for the transcript, but it wasn’t anywhere online, so I typed it out. If you know how bad a typer I am, you will understand how completely awesome and important I think his words are. The video is above, and the transcript is below. Enjoy!

Partners in the struggle for peace.

“On this Global Day of Action on Military Spending, I speak to you across many miles. I speak to you without knowing who will hear my words. I speak to you without seeing your faces, hearing your voices, or knowing your names…. But I do know that I am speaking to friends, for we are never strangers when we share a common cause. We are never far apart when we are united by the same quest. You and I are drawn together today by our desire to change the world’s insane addiction to excessive military spending, and to build a better future. You and I share a commitment to rewrite a story of humanity—A story that is sometimes triumphant, sometimes tragic, and nearly always violent. You and I are partners in the struggle for PEACE.

This kind of paradise is only protected by armies with guns….

My country, Costa Rica, has shown what a reduction in military spending can do for a society. In 1948, my country made a voluntary decision that no other country had ever undertaken—To abolish its army, and declare PEACE to the world. By doing this, my country promised me, and all its children, that we would never see tanks or troops in our streets. My country promised me, and all its children, that it would invest–Not in the weapons of our past, but in the tools of our future. Not in barracks, but in schools, hospitals and National Parks. Not in soldiers, but in teachers, doctors, and park guards. My country promised to dismantle the institutions of violence, and invest in the progress that makes violence unnecessary. Quite simply, my country invested in its people.

This has resulted, not only in a healthy, educated, and free society—It has resulted in concrete gains for national and regional security. It has taught us that security does not lie in weapons or fences or armies–Security lies in human development.

This is not only foolish…. It's immoral.

Such an act is not only foolish…. It’s immoral.

I know that the rest of the world is not ready to follow Costa Rica’s path, but any reduction in military spending can have a profound effect on the poverty, hunger, disease, and inequality that cause unrest and violence. If we continue to focus on weapons and soldiers at the expense of basic human needs, no real security will ever be possible. Yet this truth has been lost on many world leaders, who continue to squander their extensive resources on their armies. Government military expenditures reached $1.73 TRILLION in 2011, representing 2.5% of the world’s GDP. This was done in a world where 925 MILLION PEOPLE go to bed hungry every night. This was done in a world where 16,000 CHILDREN DIE EVERY DAY from hunger-related causes. This was done, even though a fraction of these funds could equip all homes with electricity, achieve universal literacy, and eradicate all preventable diseases. Such an act is not only foolish…. It is immoral.

Eleanor Roosevelt once asked, “When will our consciences grow so tender that we will act to prevent human misery, rather than to avenge it?” I’m afraid that we must answer her, “Not yet…. Not yet.”

Writing a new story for humankind.

But despite all of this, this is a day of promise–Not a day of despair. For HOPE is among us, when people all over the world are gathered together to call for change. HOPE is among us, when men and women from every country and every background recognize that the tools to change the world really are within our grasp. HOPE is among us, when we are willing to dedicate our time and energy to writing a new story for humankind.

May this global day of action renew that HOPE in all of our hearts, and may it bring us closer to the time when PEACE, and not violence, will become the birthright of our sons and our daughters. Thank you very much.” ~ Óscar Arias, President of Costa Rica 1986-1990 and 2006-2010, and Nobel Peace Prize Laureate 1987

Posted in 1) Jesus, 5) Not Quite Sure | Tagged Costa Rica, Hope, Hope is among us, Human Development, Oscar Arias, Partners in the stubble for peace, Peace, Swords into Plowshares | Leave a comment

“ENDA’s Game”–How The Gays Are Trying To Ruin America

Posted on November 9, 2013 by theboeskool

Worker’s Rights are Human Rights

I live in Tennessee. I have a job here…. Two jobs actually, and both of them have things posted like the picture above that are there to inform workers of their rights. If you have a job where there are employees, you have probably seen things like this posted in your workplace. For those of you reading on your phones, this says, “Tennessee Law Prohibits Discrimination in Employment. It is illegal to discriminate against any person because of Race, Color, Creed, Religion, Sex, Age, Disability, or National Origin in recruitment, training, hiring, discharge, promotion, or any condition, term, or privilege of employment.” Then under that, it says, “If you feel you have been discriminated against, contact the Tennessee Human Rights Commission in your region.”

You’re fired. Legally.

You may or may not notice that there is one distinction that is conspicuously missing from that list of things for which it is illegal to discriminate. Tennessee is one of 20 or so states that has no protection for people who are discriminated against because of sexual orientation or gender identity. That means if you are a highly qualified person who happens to be gay and the employer you are interviewing with finds out about your same-sex marriage from “one of them liberal states,” they can decide that is enough reason to “go in another direction.” Or, if you are a model employee who is continually passed over for promotion and you suspect that it is because you are a lesbian, you have no legal recourse. Or, if you are transgender and your employer finds out, they can fire you for it. Legally. The reason they can do this is because both homosexuality and gender identity are still not covered under federal civil rights laws.

This is what used to happen when they “left it up to the states.”

If you are fired because of your Race, Color, Creed, Religion, Sex, Age, Disability, or National Origin, GOOD NEWS–There are federal laws that are designed to protect you! But as far as protecting the rights of the LGBT community, the federal government has decided to “leave it up to the states” as to whether they want to protect the rights of their non-straight citizens. Some states have done a really good job of this; others have not (Here are some really informative maps of how each state is doing on LGBT civil rights). That’s good news if you’re gay and living in California, Illinois, or New Jersey, but if you’re discriminated against because you’re gay and you live in Texas, Alabama, or right here in Tennessee, you’re out of luck. But here’s the thing: Without a federal law mandating it, most of these 20 states (the ones that don’t provide any civil rights protections to people who are LGBT) probably wouldn’t demand civil rights protections for minorities either! There might be some states who would rather keep their schools segregated…. This fact doesn’t mean that the right thing to do is to leave the choice of whether or not to consider the rights of minorities up to those states in which the majority of the population is bigoted.

His rights are already protected…. He can’t be fired just because he is orange.

Well…. Just like in most things, there is good news and bad news in the new civil rights movement. Good News: If you haven’t heard, the Employee Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) just passed this week in the Senate by a 2:1 margin. Seven republican senators joined 54 democrats to advance this legislation that adds sexual orientation and gender identity to the list of things employers can’t fire you for. Amazing, right? That in these hyper-partisan times, democrats AND republican senators could come together to get the 60 votes it takes to pass this. So encouraging…. but there’s also some Bad News: In order to give the LGBT community the same protections the rest of us have, the republican-controlled House has to pass ENDA as well. And with John Boehner and Eric Cantor coming out against it, even though the majority of the people of this country support ENDA, it will almost certainly never come up for a vote.

Just as much as he loves everybody else….

Just as much as God loves everybody else….

You see, this is what happens when there is an issue where politicians know the right thing to do, but doing the right thing will “upset their base.” A lot of these people represent districts where coming across as “Pro-Gay” can be a fast track to a primary upset, so…. Let’s just not vote on it. Or, even grosser, they chose to not vote on it if they suspect that there is enough support to pass the law. And then they hide behind reasons for not supporting it, like believing the law will “increase frivolous litigation” and “cost American jobs” (as John Boehner said…. Well, he didn’t say it–He bravely conveyed it through an “official spokesperson”). Imagine all the “frivolous litigation” that could have been spared without the passage of all that Civil Rights legislation over the years! Imagine all the “American jobs” that could have been spared had we not decided to protect the rights of all those minorities, or the elderly, or the disabled! But…. I guess that depends on who you consider “Americans.”

Seems to make sense.

Here’s what I think is the most interesting thing about the picture at the top of the page: It’s that second sentence on the workplace sign explaining worker’s civil rights–the one that says, “If you feel you have been discriminated against, contact the Tennessee Human Rights Commission in your region.” If you’re discriminated against, who do you call? The Tennessee HUMAN RIGHTS Commission. And this makes sense, because that’s what this is about–Human Rights. If a person is discriminated against based their Race, Color, Creed, Religion, Sex, Age, Disability, or National Origin, it is a violation of their human rights. Because regardless of these things that make us different, and regardless of whether the majority of the House agrees, humans have certain rights. So that leaves us with the question: Are our Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender brothers and sisters human, or not? Do they, despite their differences, have certain rights as well?

Seriously. Just stop.

The answer is yes. People have been working on passing ENDA for decades. This tacit approval of discrimination against the LGBT community has gone on long enough. But this cannot be a fight that the LGBT community fights on its own. There are not enough voices (especially in some of these places with representatives refusing to even let this come up for a vote–places where coming out can still legally get you fired). They need allies. Be an ally–Call John Boehner and tell him to bring ENDA up for a vote (his number is 202-225-6205). And they don’t just…. I keep saying “they.” Screw that. WE don’t just need allies who are democrats, but we need allies who are republicans. I know for a fact that there are more than a few republicans who read my stuff–If you are a republican (especially if you are living in a district with a republican House Representative), call your representative. Tell him or her that you believe in fiscal responsibility and smaller government and being able to buy guns at gas stations and whatever else…. But it is time that we, as a country, protect the rights of ALL of our citizens. It’s not just that “they” need this…. WE need this!

“It’s offensive. It’s wrong. And it needs to stop, because in the United States of America, who you are and who you love should never be a fireable offense.” ~ Barack Obama

Also, if you liked this post, you might also enjoy some of these:

Posted in 1) Jesus, 2) Politics | Tagged Civil rights, Discrimination, Employment, ENDA, ENDA's Game, Gay rights, Human Rights, John Boehner, Worker's Rights | Leave a comment

The Best Idea of the Day

Posted on November 5, 2013 by theboeskool

It has become startling to me when politicians say things that make sense….

So today was election day here in the good ‘ole US of A, and I (like most of the people in this country) spent the day at work. And I (along with Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont–Who is, by the way, completely awesome) was thinking…. Why in the world is election day not a national holiday? It’s not always easy to get into the polls when you have a job you have to go to, and some jobs have weird hours that don’t necessarily go well with polling hours–Not to mention having kids and a spouse who has a job. It just seems like a good idea for a country that values having citizens who possess the right to vote, doesn’t it?

Here we see Christopher Columbus, pointing at a young girl he has chosen for his men to rape after ordering her father's murder.

Here we see Christopher Columbus, pointing at a young girl he has chosen as a sex slave, so he and his men have someone to rape…. Take today off, people.

Now, I realize that we can’t just go around calling everything a national holiday. We can’t have people going around getting paid for work they don’t do! That would be like voting to close down the government and not letting government employees come in to work, and then voting to pay them for the work they didn’t do…. Which would just be crazy. A strong case can be made that The United States of America already have enough national holidays. But maybe we could switch out an Election Day National Holiday for another holiday? MAN!! This is a tough one…. If only there was another national holiday sometime near to our election day that was a complete sham of a holiday. If Only there was another national holiday commemorating the “discovery” of a land that already had people living on it. If ONLY there was another national holiday celebrating the life of a greedy, murdering rapist who enslaved and tortured a whole people group in order to steal their gold…. Wait a second–I’VE GOT IT!! COLUMBUS DAY!!!

I would rather we celebrate Christopher Walken Day. Cowbell never enslaved NOBODY….

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then you may not have seen THIS <–Click on this link to get a little bit better idea about how completely unworthy Christopher Columbus is as a person to be celebrated in the same category as heroes like Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King, Jr. This is the perfect way to kill two embarrassing birds with one stone of common sense. We can stop this ridiculous business of celebrating the life of a truly horrible person, while at the same time showing the world that that we value our democracy enough to give people the day off to go out and vote for the person they think is the best. Makes sense to me…. Does it make sense to you?

Posted in 5) Not Quite Sure | Tagged Bernie Sanders, Best Idea of the Day, Christopher Columbus, Election Day, National Holiday | Leave a comment

I Want To Live Like Jean Valjean

Posted on November 3, 2013 by theboeskool

If you don’t know who Jean Valjean is, don’t worry–Keep reading. There’s still something here for you that will be worthy of your time….

He wasn’t red or blue. He was actually brown….

There is a split in this country, and there is a split in the Church, and I come to believe that the foundation of both of these growing divisions has mainly to do with how a person feels about Mercy and Grace. Now, those concepts are often confused with each other, but they are different: Mercy is when you don’t get what you deserve (like a punishment), and Grace is getting something you don’t deserve (like a blessing). They are similar in that they both have to do with people “getting what they deserve.” In other words, they both have to do with Justice. Both Mercy and Grace are examples of times when people don’t get what they deserve, and for many of us, that can be…. Offensive. Very offensive.

The only thing we hate more than mercy is Mercy Me.

How offensive? We HATE Mercy. Oh, don’t get me wrong–we love Mercy when it is being shown to us, but it better not be shown to someone else. If I was speeding and got pulled over, but I got let go with a warning…. Fantastic! If the jackass that just sped past me doesn’t get a ticket…. “What is wrong with the freakin’ world!?!” We love to be forgiven, but if someone else’s crime goes unpunished, a thief gets put on probation, or a prisoner is set free, all of a sudden we are all “I DEMAND JUSTICE!”

The most offensive Grace I know.

But as much as we hate Mercy, in this country I think we hate Grace even more. With Mercy, we can sometimes at least empathize a little by remembering a time when WE didn’t deserve the punishment that was heading our way…. But for many it’s truly hard for many of us to think of a time that we didn’t genuinely DESERVE the good things we received. Grace is so offensive that we don’t even like it for ourselves–If we get a bonus at the end of the year, we figure it’s because we deserve it–“It’s about time they noticed.” In fact, if we receive Grace once, that’s usually all it takes to transform that bit of Grace into something we’d be pissed off if we didn’t receive the next time. Even as humiliating as it is when we receive something good we didn’t deserve (sometimes “humbling” feels like “humiliation”), there are few things that make us as angry as when someone else receives Grace. This is why the sight of a woman paying for groceries with a SNAP card (Food Stamps) while talking on an iPhone gets people so riled up. Or a person on welfare with a TV we feel is too big. Or a person who receives healthcare who didn’t pay for it….

We don’t celebrate Mercy and Grace. We despise it. We like to believe that we live in a merit-based society–One where people get ahead because they deserve it (and conversely, one where those who are left with little or nothing deserve it too). It’s a fun little make-believe Darwinist dystopian paradise–A place where everyone gets what they deserve. And in this world where everyone gets what they deserve, it’s easier to deal with the poor–The rich are rich because they earned it, and the poor are that way because they got what was coming to them. But this worldview is very hard for followers of Jesus to stomach…. Or, at least it should be. It should be VERY hard to stomach–with Jesus telling parables about a king forgiving the giant debts of a man, and then that man con’t bring himself to forgive the relatively tiny debts that are owed to him. WE’VE received Mercy! WE’VE received Grace! What is that messed up thing inside of us that is so offended when others receive the same thing???

All that “First shall be last” stuff doesn’t make a whole lot of sense when you’re running in a race….

And that dissonance grows inside of us–a dissonance between the world around us and the words of Jesus. We attempt to calm that dissonance by separating the words of Jesus from what we believe is “the real world.” The real world says that it’s okay to kill people who our government says are enemies, so Jesus couldn’t have really meant it when he told us to love our enemies. The real world tells us that the “better” a person is, the more money that person will have, so Jesus couldn’t have been serious with all that “first shall be last/last shall be first” stuff. The real world tells us “kill them before they kill you,” so Jesus couldn’t have meant it when he said, “Do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.” We tell ourselves “That stuff could never work in the REAL world….” This is the separation of “the real world” from what Jesus referred to as The Kingdom of God.

This is a lot like God. Especially the beard.

And this Kingdom of God was really important to Jesus. He talked about it a lot. One of those times, he said that The Kingdom of God is like a landowner who hires workers for his vineyard–some who work all day, some who work half a day, and some who work just a little bit–but then, at the end of the day, the landowner pays them all the same day’s wage. And, of course, the ones who were there all day are a little ticked about this. They said, “you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work and the heat of the day.” And the landowner is like, “Get over it. I’m not being unfair to you by extending Grace to someone else.” But this is what The Kingdom is like! A common characteristic of “The Kingdom of God” that Jesus talks about (and came to establish) is that things are NOT the way they are in “the real world.”

Micah 6:8 is a verse that is a lot of people’s favorite Bible verse. It says, “He has shown you, O man (and woman), what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Notice that justice is something that you DO. We don’t LOVE Justice–We DO Justice…. What we LOVE is Mercy. We love it with the humility that is aware that Mercy has been shown to us.

Which is where Jean Valjean comes in. If you have read Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables or seen the musical, you already know this, but Jean Valjean is a man who spent 20 years in prison for a small crime, and then during his parole he steals some silver (in hopeless desperation) from a Bishop who had showed him kindness and hospitality. He is caught with the church’s silver and is brought back to the priest to confirm his guilt and bring him to Justice. Instead, the Bishop lies and tells the officers that not only was the silver given to him (Mercy), but says that Jean Valjean mistakenly left the best silver behind and gives him even more (Grace). Here is the clip from the musical:

Love wins.

The rest of the story (you really need to watch it if you haven’t) is a battle between Justice/Law (Javert) and Mercy/Grace (Jean Valjean), and *spoiler alert* everything human in us roots for Mercy and Grace to win. This is why I have a hard time understanding “the other side”–whether that other side is political or ecclesiastical in nature (though both of these “other sides” are usually embodied by the same folks). I have more in common with a person who knows nothing about Jesus and loves Mercy than I have in common with a person who claims to be a Christian and is pissed off when someone else receives Mercy. I think maybe we just forget…. We forget how forgiven we are–How undeservedly blessed we are. I find that the times I am most forgetful about the Mercy and Grace that I’ve received seem to be the times that I am most offended by other people receiving Mercy and Grace. But I don’t want to live that way. I want to live like Jean Valjean. There is far more redeeming power in celebrating Mercy and Grace than there ever could ever be in crying out for someone to “get what he deserves.” Let us not forget when that precious silver was given to us.