The Pure, Unfiltered Hellscape That Is The School Drop-Off Line

Posted on February 25, 2020 by theboeskool

Each morning I visit hell. Not Hell, Michigan, and not some fiery, figurative Gehenna-ish hell that Jesus talked about in the Bible… but the ACTUAL HELL, right here on earth. I load my kids into the car, and I drive straight into the hot, red circle of Satan’s anus that is known as the School Drop-Off Line.

There are few places on the planet that you can so clearly see the brokenness of humanity as in the School Drop-Off Line. And never are people so selfishly broken as when it gets closer to the time when your kids are late, and you have to park your car, go inside, and sign them in. God help me, I hate it so much. People abandon every lesson and moral of their youth. The School Drop-Off Line is why movies like Mad Max are a very distinct possibility of where we are headed. It actually already feels quite a bit like this…

Seriously, what kind of person looks at a line of cars, and thinks, “I’m just going to cut in line, because my kids are more important than everyone else’s kids.” WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!? Behind those darkly tinted windows, I imagine your faces painted with the blood of your enemies… one hand on a crossbow, the other giving the middle finger to all rules and expectations of appropriate human behavior… your toddlers bouncing in the backseat, not strapped in to any sort of carseat… feral creatures, eating a cheese stick for breakfast, and pissing wherever they please…

Did you not learn these rules at the water fountain in kindergarten? Here’s what happens when you cut in line: EVERYONE ELSE BEHIND YOU HAS TO WAIT EVEN LONGER. You insensitive, selfish, arrogant asshole. <– I seriously want to get signs printed up that say these words, and hand them out to the parents in the drop-off line who have a shred of decency. Never are my thoughts more murderous than when I watch people intentionally cut in line during this monotonous morning routine. If there is an actual hell, there is a special place there reserved for people who look at the tedious slowness of idiots in a School Drop-Off Line, and decide to make it even worse. RAGE!

Okay… Just breathe, Chris… Remember that the vast majority of people are NOT the sort of people who have so little regard for others that they actively attempt to make a bad situation even worse. Remember that most people share your disgust. Breathe…

I have been dealing with this nightmare for many years now, and I have a few pieces of advice for parents who brave the daily test of patience that is the School Drop-Off Line:

  • Your kids are no more important than anyone else’s kids. Just like your time is no more important than anyone else’s time. If you cut in front of people in the School Drop-Off Line, you are objectively as asshole. I shouldn’t have to say this… But here we are.
  • If it’s raining, your kids are going to be alright if they get a little wet. No one is going to melt. When you insist on letting your precious little A-hole out at EXACTLY the closest spot to the door, it slows down the whole process for all of us, and the line moves one car at a time. PULL. ALL. THE. WAY. FORWARD. KAREN.
  • Those cones are there for a reason. And that reason is to keep people like you from cutting in line and pissing everyone else off to the point that they want to Towanda your ass all the way back to Fried Green Tomatoes county… DON’T TOUCH THE CONES.
  • Don’t try to start a fight. I admit that I have rolled my window down to inform strangers of the rules they have broken… But stay in the car. The sort of people who flip the bird to social conventions are exactly the same sort of people who keep a gun in their glovebox. It’s not worth getting shot over. And even if you are angry enough that you decide it is, it’s definitely not worth getting some little kid shot over.
  • And most importantly — Your kids learn lessons from the example you set. So you aren’t just making MY mornings more miserable… You are spreading your hatred and indifference to future generations. The world doesn’t need more “Me first” than it already has. 
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Towanda: Righter of Wrongs, Queen Beyond Compare!

 

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Praying For The End Of The World, “Not Wanting To Get Political,” and Other Christian Nonsense

Posted on February 7, 2020 by theboeskool

Have you ever heard someone say, “Jesus, come quickly”? It’s usually something Christians say when things feel particularly crazy or disordered or hopeless. The thought is that things are so messed up, and our only hope of getting them sorted out is the return of Jesus. It is a very common eschatology (the part of theology that’s concerned with what happens at the end of things). A lot of people believe that the moral timeline of history is just things getting shittier and shittier until everything falls apart… A which point, Jesus will show up with a sword on a horse, he’ll burn it all down, he’ll build a new heaven and a new earth, and that’ll be it. Some people believe this narrative so unquestionably that they are even committed to hurrying along this inevitable demise. And so they pray for the world to end…

In the Bible, it was written that when Jesus was asked about the end times, he said that there would be wars and earthquakes and famines. He said there would be tribulation, and that his followers would be persecuted. He said there would be false messiahs and false prophets who would try to deceive people, and that these things happening would be a sign that the end is near. And so, for centuries people have looked for signs. They’d see something awful happen, and they were convinced that the awfulness was just a prequel to things finally being made right.

When he was asked about how things will end, Jesus said that “at that time people will see the Son of Man coming in the clouds, with power and glory.” Of course, at THAT time (the time Jesus said this) they didn’t think about (know about) the fact that the earth is round, and that people on the other side of the planet wouldn’t see this dramatic return in the clouds (or people 100 miles away, for that matter). And as to the WHEN of all this happening, Jesus says that no one knows… not even the Son. Only the Father. But for some reason — even though he also says he doesn’t know when it’s going down — he tells the people who are listening to him talk, “Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.” He talks about his kingdom — The Kingdom of God — a lot.

So, to review, Jesus tells the people at that time that his return will happen before some of them die. Even Paul, the author of most of orthodox Christian theology, got it wrong. He fully expected to see Jesus return in his lifetime. He referred to the people who had died before Jesus’ return as “those who have fallen asleep in him,” and wrote that “we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air.” And generation after generation has thought the same thing: That Jesus is coming “soon.” Be alert! Soon and VERY soon! LIKE A THIEF IN THE NIGHT!!!

So now, when things feel crazy and unstable, people start thinking, “Is this it? Is this the BIG one??” And beyond that, when things feel like they are falling apart, people start praying for this to be the end. “Please, Jesus… Come quickly.” They’ve been praying that for 2000 years. Or “We’ve” been praying that (I’m not so sure which one it is anymore). And it’s not just conservatives who think this way… Many progressive Christians have this same mindset. They see this mess with the Congress and the impeachment and Trump and all these misled white evangelicals, and they think back to all the “false prophets” talk in the Bible, and they think, “Jesus, come quick.”

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“It’s the big one! I’m coming to join you Elizabeth!”

I believe this way of thinking is built on a foundation of a debilitating christian pessimism… This idea that “It’s all going to shit anyway, so what’s the point?” It’s the idea that we are incapable of anything good… that we are so totally depraved — such total garbage — that we could never hope to get anything right… And that our only hope is Jesus coming back and setting things right. And I don’t think that’s the story. But really, even if that WAS the story, does it really change how we act until end actually comes?

Imagine a bunch of people were in a water-tight room with a leaky pipe. Let’s say a plumber shows up and talks about fixing the leak… but he ends up leaving out the one door there was to the room, he locks the door behind him, and he says he’s coming back. He’s gone for a while… Longer than people expected. Meanwhile, drip, drip, drip… The water starts to pool up on the ground. Days turn into weeks… Weeks turn into months… Still no sign of The Plumber. The water is rising. Some folks start to wonder if he’s really coming back… Or if they heard him correctly. Others are like, “HE SAID HE’S COMING BACK SOON, AND I BELIEVE HIM!” People start talking about trying to fix the leak. Others are like, “We can’t fix that leak — We’re not plumbers!”  People start talking about learning to swim. People start putting folks in charge of different responsibilities. People start choosing leaders. Others say, “What’s the point? The Plumber is coming back soon to open the door (though, for some reason, they believe that he’s only going to let a couple people out… But that’s another blog post).

Here’s the point: Whether The Plumber is coming back or not, wouldn’t you still try to fix the leak? Wouldn’t you still teach the kids to swim? Wouldn’t you still put responsible, good people in change of making sure things get done? And I mean, you CERTAINLY wouldn’t choose people who are so blindedly certain that The Plumber is coming back soon that they are trying to expand the leak to “hasten” his return! Whether he comes back or not, our responsibility is to take care of each other and limit the harm that is done. And if The Plumber DOES show up someday, I’d imagine he’d have some harsh words for the people who didn’t do what they could to fix the leak…


I think this idea that Jesus is coming to save us does more harm than good… It absolves people of their responsibility to fix this mess we’ve created. Just like the harmful idea that “the 2nd coming is happening soon & Jesus is going to burn it all down & give us a new earth” ends up with people using that belief to excuse & defend policies which hurt the environment and endanger future generations. You probably don’t see a whole lot of people in doomsday cults giving their kids vaccines. Who cares about “global warming” when your eschatology tells you that very soon the world’s going to end in fire, right? ESPECIALLY when it includes the narrative that that fire is what is finally going to make everything right. This is why we see “christians” promoting Middle East “peace” policies which they quietly believe are ushering in the apocalypse.

So here’s what I believe: I believe that no one knows whether or not anyone is coming to save us. I believe WE have a responsibility to try to fix the leak. We should be taking care of each other — Especially the ones who are vulnerable and oppressed. Justice is not coming on the clouds… WE are responsible for promoting and ensuring justice. If a march is needed, we are the feet of Jesus. If tables in the temple need to be flipped over, we are Jesus’s hands. We are here NOW. The kingdom of God is not simply “somewhere we are going to go when we die” — It is something we are responsible for building while we are alive. We are not simply waiting for The Kingdom to arrive… We are here to actively BUILD The Kingdom of God. Now.

This includes getting political. This includes VOTING. This includes electing leaders who are honorable and honest and moral. It matters who governs… One need look no further than the thousands of children in cages at our southern border to know that this is true. Magical thinking or praying “Jesus come quickly” has no effect on the policies that separate children from their families when they show up at our nation’s border looking for help. Hoping for a magical hand from heaven to fix this mess we’ve made is like offering a hungry person “thoughts & prayers” when what they really need is a meal.

A lot of christians say they “don’t want to get too political.” And a lot of leaders within Christianity are committed to “not taking sides” on political issues. Churches who preach a message of “God makes us rich” attract rich folks who fund things and build new wings on buildings… Churches who talk about social justice and preach the political message that God is on the side of the poor tend to struggle financially. But please hear me, here: People who are telling Christians that they shouldn’t be “political” are people who don’t like what the Bible and Jesus have to say about our responsibility to economic and social justice. People in positions of power don’t like the sound of “bringing the mountains low and raising up the valleys.” Saying things like “the first shall be last and the last shall be first” is great news for the poor, but it’s terrible news for the 1%… Who also happen to be the same ones funding political campaigns and paying for advertising time on TV.

Listen, I’m not saying that everyone has to have the same eschatologies. No one knows how things are going to end… Or even IF they’re going to end. It’s possible that Jesus might return someday. I’m not holding my breath… But whether you believe that someone is coming to save us or not, you need to vote like it’s up to us to fix things. Because it is. And that means GETTING POLITICAL. The message of Jesus is inherently political. The impact of Jesus’ message on the political powers of his day is what got him killed… Just like the politics of Martin Luther King Jr. is what got him killed. Being on the side of the poor and the oppressed makes you a target for the rich and the oppressors. It gets people killed. And maybe that’s what Jesus was talking about when he said, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” Get political. VOTE. Jesus was on the side of the poor and vulnerable and oppressed… Christians need to follow him.

 

Thank you for reading. Undoubtedly, there are some who would classify me a a “false prophet” because of the things I write on this blog. But if YOU value this blog… If the stuff I write brings you joy or gives you hope… And if you want to help support it, you can BECOME A PATRON. A couple bucks a month makes a big difference, and it supports my writing and helps me support my family. If you feel like leaving a false prophet a tip, you can DO THAT ON PAYPAL. Otherwise, please follow & keep up with me on TWITTER and on FACEBOOK.

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For The Christians Upset About The Super Bowl Halftime Show…

Posted on February 3, 2020 by theboeskool

I know, I know… There was a lot of skin during the halftime show. A lot of belly dancing. A lot of booty shaking. A lot of hips not lying. A lot of gyrating and pole dancing. And yes, we get it: Your kids were watching, and “WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!?!”  and all that. We are all going to have to wash our eyes out with holy water…

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It should be noted that there were no untruths told by any of the hips on that stage tonight.

I am not the sort of person who hears that the halftime entertainment is going to be Shakira and Jennifer Lopez and thinks, “Oh good!” I’m not a real big fan of either of them, to be honest. When I heard those were the acts, I said, “I’m expecting it’s going to be about 30% music, and 70% outfits.” And I realize some folks are into that, but it’s just not me. So I wasn’t very excited coming into it. Plus, I’m still a little bit pissed about Shakira stealing my idea for her song “My Hips Don’t Lie,” because I had that same basic idea for a song while I was in college…

A lot of people thought it was just epic. I didn’t. It was alright. I thought it was just kind of “Meh.” But the REASON I wasn’t that impressed had nothing to do with the skimpiness of the outfits or the thrustiness of the dance moves. It just wasn’t my thing…

But I’ve got to tell you, seeing all the hand wringing and tsk tsking coming from Christians on social media has got me a bit riled up. I get that everyone knows it’s coming — It’s so boringly predictable that the Purity Culture crowd is going to get up in arms at the sight of some skin on the Super Bowl. There were people lamenting how stuff like this leads to the objectification of women… which leads to porn… which leads to human trafficking… which I guess leads to the worst result: DANCING! There were people piously patting themselves on the back for turning the channel in anticipation of the debauchery. It was all very exhausting.

But I just kept thinking about how so many of the people who were outraged about not enough fabric were also the same people who support the sexual assaulter in chief who is sitting in the White House congratulating the state of Kansas on Kansas City’s big win. This is the same guy who paid to have sex with a porn star... cheating on his third wife (who was also a soft core porn model) while she took care of his newborn child (Trump himself was also in a soft core porn video). The same guy who was recorded bragging about being so famous that he can kiss anyone he wants to… even saying he can “grab ’em by the pussy.” This is the same guy who boasted to Howard Stern about intentionally barging in on naked teenage girls while they were getting dressed for one of his beauty pageants. The same guy who discounted some of the dozens of sexual assault allegations against him by suggesting the the women were too ugly to sexually assault. Yes… Many of the people who voted for the rapist in the White House — and will probably vote for him again — are worried about the example Shakira’s and J Lo’s outfits and dance moves are setting for our kids.

But they have gotten so used to their own hypocrisy that they can’t even see it anymore. If some famous “liberal elite” had said “Goddamn” during the show, they’d be talking about the downfall of America and blaming prayer in schools… But they don’t care at all that Trump regularly says that same word at his rallies. They get upset and invoke the word “bullying” at Don Lemon laughing and poking fun of what a moron Trump is (and, by proxy, the intelligence of the people supporting him)… But they are fine with the regular attacks and name-calling he makes at anyone who he feels threatened by. They are upset about two Latina women’s midriffs… But the cheerleader’s skimpy outfits are just “good, clean American fun.” It is pure, distilled hypocrisy, and it needs to be called out as such.

So if you want to be upset about seeing too much of J Lo’s amazing 50 year old body during the halftime show, I guess feel free… But you don’t get to do it while defending a man who cheated on all three of his wives — one of whom was among the dozens of women who have credibly accused him of sexual assault. This is a man who talked about dating his own daughter. This is a man who implied his accusers were too ugly to rape. You’re supporting a pussy-grabbing rapist who brags about barging in on naked teenagers… If you’re worried about the downfall of society, supporting a person like Trump should probably be more concerning to you than Shakira’s honest hips or J Lo’s pole dancing.

Now excuse me while I scream into my pillow…

 

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Trump Lied About There Being “No Casualties.” Then He Dismissed Traumatic Brain Injuries As “Headaches”

Posted on January 27, 2020 by theboeskool

After Donald Trump ordered the assassination of Iran’s Qasem Soleimani with a drone strike, Iran responded by firing 22 missiles as U.S. military bases in Iraq. Usually, a country firing missiles at our military bases would be pretty giant news… Especially if the attack on our military came as a response to a surprise (largely) unprovoked killing of a foreign military general. The Trump administration said that Soleimani’s killing was ordered to stop an “imminent attack,” but then walked back that claim in the following days when they were pressed for a more specific explanation to the question “Why now?” Iran has been our enemy for decades… Why would the U.S. government suddenly make a drastic escalation like this and put U.S. lives at risk?

Obama — along with many other world powers — tried a diplomatic solution to Iran’s nuclear ambitions… A plan that top officials in Trump’s White House said was WORKING. Regardless (and because he has made it one of his administration’s priorities to undo as many of Obama’s accomplishments as possible), Trump decided to pull out of the the JCPOA (the Iran nuclear deal), and then he decided to order an assassination which would escalate tensions with an unstable enemy.

The Wall Street Journal reported that “Mr. Trump, after the strike, told associates he was under pressure to deal with Gen. Soleimani from GOP senators he views as important supporters in his coming impeachment trial in the Senate, associates said.” So, to be clear, the president decided to assassinate an Iranian General to shore up support with some republican senators before his impeachment trial, then dishonestly claim the killing was to prevent an “imminent attack”… All with the understanding that their actions would certainly put the lives of American soldiers at even more risk. So it came as a relief to many when the president told the country there were “NO CASUALTIES” as a result of the missile attacks on U.S. military bases.

It turns out this was a total lie.

When it was reported that there were “no casualties,” it led to speculation that Iran’s attack was more symbolic than anything else, and that they had intentionally avoided injuring U.S. soldiers to avoid a military response from the United States… Kind of like a kid betting punched in the face by a much stronger bully, and then that kid trying to save face by having SOME response, but intentionally having his reaction be harmless to avoid another throttling. The dishonest “no casualties” report was also politically advantageous to the Trump administration because many people were being very critical of the recklessness of this attack, so when they said no one got hurt, Trump was able to play the part of both arsonist AND firefighter.

But after multiple reports came out saying that soldiers were injured in the attacks (blown out of towers, endured concussions, etc…), Pentagon officials finally admitted that ELEVEN soldiers were flown to Germany and Kuwait to get treatment for TBIs (Traumatic Brain Injuries). Just a few hours later, the Pentagon reported the number of casualties was actually 34 people. THIRTY FOUR U.S. soldiers received Traumatic Brain Injuries in the the Iranian missile attacks.

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If only we could be rid of this headache…

You know what? It’s possible that Trump wasn’t technically “lying” when he said there were “no casualties.” Perhaps he mistakenly thought that “casualty” meant “someone was killed.” He is, after all, a moron… And he missed out on military service because of a “debilitating” case of bone spurs. And it’s possible that he was working with bad information when he repeatedly said that “no Americans were injured” in the attacks (though, it should be noted, it makes it harder to trust them when they tell us that no one was hurt in the rocket attacks on the U.S. embassy in Iraq yesterday). So I *suppose* a case can be made that it’s mildly understandable/forgivable that he misspoke or “mischaracterized” what happened. What is NOT understandable or forgivable is what came next…

While he was at Davos, Trump was asked the following question: “Initially you said repeatedly to Americans that after Iran retaliated for the Soleimani strike, ‘No Americans were injured.’ We now know that at least 11 U.S. Servicemen were airlifted from Iraq… Can you explain the discrepancy?” Below is the video of the exchange.

Here’s how Trump answered: “No, uh, I heard that they had headaches. And a couple of other things, but I would say, and I can report, that it is not very serious.” The journalist followed up by asking, “So you don’t think that a potential Traumatic Brain Injury is serious?” And he said, “No I don’t consider them very serious injuries relative to other injuries that I’ve seen,” and then he talked about how he has seen people with no legs or no arms and how he considers those serious (notice how his emphasis is not on the soldier’s injuries, but instead on the fact that he has SEEN those injuries… Classic narcissism). He finished up by saying, “No, I do not consider that to be bad injuries, no.”

Listen… I know that this exercise is a little played out, but I want you to imagine — for a moment — the reaction and faux outrage that would come from republicans if President Obama had said that he does not consider Traumatic Brain Injuries to be serious. Fox”News” would have spent five solid days discussing how debilitating TBIs can be to soldiers… And how democrats don’t care about the troops… And how Obama is on Iran’s side in this attack… And on and on and on. Ask any combat veteran if they think TBIs are “serious.” But instead, the GOP is falling all over itself trying to equivocate Trump’s comments, like republican Senator (and U.S. veteran) Tom Cotton shamelessly does right here:

The U.S. Department of Veteran’s Affairs has concluded that TBI’s suffered in military conflicts have symptoms which last longer than the symptoms civilians report. In Iraq and Afghanistan, 22% of all combat casualties are TBIs… Compared with 12% of combat casualties in Vietnam. People who have experienced even mild Traumatic Brain Injuries “are also at increased risk for psychiatric disorders compared to the general population, including depression and PTSD.”  Meanwhile, the suicide rate for veterans and military members is at an all time high. The VFW has demanded that Trump apologize for his ignorant and insensitive comments. Good luck with that…

Here’s the point: The Republican Party does not care about veterans… They care about using veterans to get votes so they can stay in power. Just like they don’t care about abortions… They care about using abortion as a carrot they can dangle in front of evangelicals to get them to the polls. Veterans are nothing more than a photo op to these people. If republicans cared at all about standing up for veterans, they would stand up to Trump’s completely unforgivable dismissal of Traumatic Brain Injuries as “headaches” that are “not serious.” Instead, they line up behind a disgraceful, dishonest draft-dodger who dishonors our nation on a daily basis.

I should admit that in reality, there are some probably some republicans who genuinely care about veterans… But here’s what they are worried about: They have tethered themselves to an unstable, immoral idiot. And if they break with Trump — even for something as clearly egregious as this — he will take his followers with him… leaving two smaller parties of the FRTP and the RRR (Far Right Trumper Purists and Relatively Reasonable Republicans) — NEITHER of which will be able to compete with democrats in a national election. So they justify and ignore his lying and his cheating and his corruption and his pussy grabbing and even his off-handed dismissal of the injuries to the soldiers he put in harm’s way — Just like they are justifying and ignoring the clear crimes he has committed in this impeachment trial. And it’s so very, very gross…

One thing is for sure: STOP. VOTING. REPUBLICAN.

Thank you for reading! Please get involved in some way in the political process. Put your representative and your senators’ numbers on your phone, and call them when you hear about stuff like this. Help register people to vote. Talk to your friends. Get involved. It matters who governs… Especially to people with less privilege than you. If you love this blog, and you’d like to help support it, you can BECOME A PATRON. If you’re feeling generous and you’d like to leave a tip, you can DO THAT ON PAYPAL. Otherwise, follow me on Twitter and on Facebook for more Jesus, Politics, & Bathroom Humor.

 

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Here’s How To Tell If Your Church Is Trash

Posted on January 16, 2020 by theboeskool

I heard a song today. It gave me hope — Which is something that seems to be increasingly rare these days… ESPECIALLY songs that have anything to do with Jesus or the Church or Christianity. But it happened, and I’m happy to share that with the misfits who, for whatever reason, read this the stuff I write.

Donald Trump Holds Campaign Rally In Mobile, Alabama

Jesus, this picture. God help us…

 

This post is about that song. It was written by a dude named Daniel Deitrich, and it is called “Hymn For The 81%.” There are two things I’d like to happen with this post… The first is I really want you to listen to the song. Please — PLEASE spend five minutes of your day listening to it. Here it is:

Here are the lyrics.

I grew up in your churches
Sunday morning, evening service
Knelt in tears at the foot of the rugged cross
You taught me every life is sacred
feed the hungry, clothe the naked
I learned from you the highest law is Love

I believed you when you said
that I should trust the words in red
To guide my steps through a wicked world
I assumed you’d do the same
so imagine my dismay
When I watched you lead the sheep to the wolves

You said to love the lost
So I’m loving you now
You said to speak the truth
So I’m calling you out
Why don’t you live the words
That you put in my mouth
May love overcome and justice roll down

They started putting kids in cages
Ripping mothers from their babies
And I looked to you to speak on their behalf
But all I heard was silence
Or worse you justify it
Singing glory hallelujah raise the flag

Your fear had turned to hatred
But you baptized it with language
torn from the pages of the good book
You weaponized religion
And you wonder why I’m leaving
To find Jesus on the wrong side of your walls

And then near the end, he sings, “Come home. Come home. You’re better than this. You taught me better than this.” He PLEADS with the 81%, “COME HOME.”

I have written many times before (HERE, HERE, and HERE to name a few) about watching white evangelicals abandon Jesus in the pursuit of political power, and about the dismay of seeing so many who would call themselves “christians” support a man who is easily and objectively as polar opposite to the Spirit of Christ as anyone on the planet. I’m convinced that the church’s support of and silence on the immorality and abject evil that Donald Trump champions has done more to injure the reputation of Christianity than anything in my lifetime.

So I titled this post “How To Tell If Your Church Is Trash.” And even though there is obviously more than one way to figure out that your church is trash, but here’s the litmus test I am providing you today: If you attend a church that would not play this song during the service, your church is trash. That’s one sure way to know you are attending the wrong church. And on the off chance you are one of my readers who still attends church on a somewhat regular basis, this is good information to have. But even if you are one of my many readers who doesn’t go to church or even count yourself as particularly spiritual, I’m betting you still appreciate this song. Or if you are one of the many people who grew up in the Church, but who have transitioned into a time of your life where going to church feels like something that does a better job at distancing you from the divine than drawing you near, chances are you will enjoy that song as well.

I am one of the ones who left. There are many reasons why people leave. Many of us didn’t leave the churches of our youth because we don’t believe in Jesus anymore… We left because we took the words we said and the promises we made SERIOUSLY. We cared too much about Jesus to stay in a Church that worships white nationalism, political power, and a narcissistic charlatan rather than following the one who commanded us take care of the immigrant & stranger, feed the hungry, and take care of the sick. Many of us still love the one who told his followers to love our enemies, rather than taking guns to a worship service, ready to kill them. A lot of people have figured out that the American church is way more about white supremacy and patriarchy than it is about following Jesus… And so we left.

Which brings us to the second thing I’d love to see happen: I’d love to see worship leaders all over this fractured country take a principled stand against the alignment of the church with this country’s immoral, lying president, and I’d like them to play this song during the offering on a Sunday Service. I’d love to see musicians all over America symbolically overturn the tables of their temples with this song. I’d love to see men and women sing this song in front of congregations who have lost their way, and who need a prophetic voice asking them to COME HOME. I’d love to see people risk losing their jobs to “love the lost” and “speak the truth” to churches who desperately need to be called out.

There is power in music. There is a strength in Truth being SUNG that sometimes doesn’t come through as clearly as when the Truth is simply spoken. So if you know someone who leads worship in a church that has lost its way… A church that regularly confuses the cross with the flag… A church that has forgotten whether they are following Jesus, or the guy who bragged about “grabbing them by the pussy,” SEND THEM THIS POST. Have them listen to this song. Ask them to consider singing it for the congregations they serve.

And if you are one of the millions of people who attend one of these churches that actively support the corrupt, immoral man sitting in the White House… Or if you are part of a congregation who stays silent when the leadership in our country aligns themselves with white nationalists, separates kids from their parents when families flee to our country, and locks kids in cages while fighting against needing to provide them with toothpaste… If you are part of a congregation who would never even consider playing the amazing song Daniel Deitrich has created… I’ve got some difficult news for you, but you’ve probably already been suspecting it: Your church is trash. It’s time to find Jesus on the other side of those walls…

 

Thank you so much for reading. Also thank you for the amazing support I received after the last post I wrote. It really means a lot to me. Thank you to my new Patrons, Kirk and Kim! If you value this blog, and you’d like to become a Patron, you can DO THAT HERE. If  you appreciate this post, you’re feeling generous, and you’d like to leave a tip of PayPal, you can DO THAT RIGHT HERE. Otherwise, you can keep up with me on FACEBOOK as well as on TWITTER. There’s some fun stuff there… Anyway, keep working, stay hopeful, and thank you again for the support!

Posted in 1) Jesus, 2) Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

A Tip That Left Me In Tears

Posted on January 11, 2020 by theboeskool

It was the last table of the night. These two girls sat down in my section… They looked to be about 20-ish. I suppose that makes them young women. But if I’m telling the story, I’m probably calling them “girls.” That’s how old I am now. In my world, if you’re closer to my daughter’s age than you are to mine, I’m probably referring to you as a girl. I don’t know which is right… For the purposes of this story, I’m calling them “girls.”

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Apropos of nothing, this is the face I made when I found out The Office was being taken off of Netflix…

They were both friendly and quirky and kind. One was thin. One was bigger. We all write stories in our heads about the people we meet… For some reason, the one who was bigger struck me as someone whose weight had always been a bit of a struggle for her. I asked them if they knew what they wanted to drink, and I told them the options. When I told them the soda options, the thinner one put her finger out and shook it down once as she curtly said “NO!” to her bigger friend. It was a little weird… Like she was scolding a puppy who was getting too close to the table. She said, “We’re kind of on a diet.” It became clear that the thinner girl was trying to help her friend with a weight loss plan. So the bigger girl ordered a water. Then the thin girl looks at me and says, “I’ll have a ginger ale.” 

I brought them their drinks, and the bigger girl says, “This is going to sound really high maintenance, but do y’all have vegan cheese?” I work at an Italian restaurant. And because I think I’m pretty funny, I say, “I’m so sorry, we don’t… But if it’s any consolation, we have a WHOLE lot of NON-vegan cheeses.” Neither of them seems to think this attempt at humor hit the mark. She says, “I’m doing this Whole30 thing, and I’m not supposed to have cheese.” Her thinner friend says, “Just get a Caprese salad,” and she snaps back, “Dude, I can’t have mozzarella cheese!” I point her to a vegan salad we have, but it doesn’t look like something she wants. Meanwhile, her friend says, “Well, I’m having the Caprese salad…”

Please allow me to interrupt. I have always been fairly thin. It’s just the way my body has always worked. Getting older has slowed my metabolism down some, so now I have to be a little more conscious of what I’m eating… But if there were any justice in the universe, I’d be so overweight. I spent most of my life treating my body like a trashcan, and somehow I’m not obese. This is just to say that a person’s body size is NOT necessarily a reflection on their willpower or their activeness or their discipline. So don’t make judgements there. Back to the story…

The one doing Whole30 is getting a little frustrated, and she says, “I’ll just have the Caesar salad.” Her friend goes, “NO, YOU CAN’T HAVE CAESAR SALAD! Caesar dressing is SO not good for you.” At this point, I want to tell her that there is a shit-ton of cheese in the Caesar dressing, but tensions are getting high, and I figure it’s best to just stay out of it. I tell them I can give them some time to decide, but she says, “Okay, I’m getting the Caesar salad with no cheese, dressing on the side, and I’d like it with chicken.” The thinner one says she wants to keep the menu at the table in case she’d like something else, and I put their order in.

A little bit later their salads are ready, and Chicken Caesar/dressing-on-the-side says, “Can I cancel the order for that salad?” I’m like, “I CAN? But it’s already made.” They are really cool about it. She says, “Oh that’s totally fine. We’ll pay for it… I’ll just give it to someone else.” Something tells me she searched on her phone how Caesar dressing is made… Whole30 has decided that she’d just like a grilled chicken breast with some marinara in the side… Now — long story short, here — we don’t HAVE grilled chicken. We don’t have a GRILL. We can FRY a chicken breast for the Chicken Parm, but now I’m explaining to her that the only non-fried chicken breast we have is kind of broiled, and in pieces (for the pastas, the pizzas, & the salads). The thinner friend tells me she also like a side of meatballs. At this point, the one trying to do Whole30 looks totally defeated. I see her give up. She says, “You know what? I’m good.” I am certain she doesn’t mean it. Caprese salad changes her meatball order to a side of fries.

I’d like to interrupt this part of the story to let you know that these last five months or so have been THE hardest of my life. I’m not publicly going into specifics yet, but let’s just say that it has been the sort of time where your friends send you random texts saying things like, “Hey man, how you holding up?” and “I just want you to know that I’m thinking about you” and “Let me know if there’s anything you need.” A genuine nightmare. It’s been a “paying to talk to a therapist on a regular basis” sort of time in my life. In normal, happy times, it’s notoriously easy for me to tear up. But these days, it feels like dry eyes are the exception. Anyway…

I can feel my eyes welling up as this sweet girl gives up on eating a meal, and I say, “Let me see what I can do…”

The cook is really busy, and as far as trying to “grill” a chicken breast without a grill, they don’t really *do* that. And asking a cook to do a special order when they are busy like that is just a jerk move. So I put on some gloves, and I put a little bit of olive oil in a pan and turn up the heat. I grab a chicken breast, beat it up a little, throw some white wine into the pan (which causes a big flame), and I cook up a chicken breast with a little salt and pepper and lemon. I try to blacken it, but not make it tough. People are coming up to me saying, “WTF are you doing?” (they’re not used to seeing me on the line), and I explain that I’m just trying to get this girl something she can eat. About five minutes later, I’ve got a decent-looking piece of chicken in front of me. I bring it to the table. It doesn’t look like very much food. I set it down and say, “Here you go.” They both enthusiastically thank me — her friend with French fries in her mouth.

I check back a couple minutes later to see how she likes it. She says it is *so* good. I decide to believe her… At this point, they are they only table in the dining room. A 14-top I had has just left, and I’m trying to clean up their table. And while I was cleaning up, the song “Don’t Give Up” by Peter Gabriel comes on in the restaurant…

Another interruption… You might not know this, but I can sing. I used to write songs. It was initially the reason I decided to move to Nashville. “Don’t Give Up” is one of my favorite songs. Like, probably Top 10. Peter Gabriel’s “SO” album brought me through some intense heartache in my life — No song more than that one. It doesn’t hurt that my voice has roughly the same range as Peter Gabriel. I play the piano by ear, and a long time ago I worked out that song. It’s almost like gospel on the piano. It has the feeling of a prayer to me. Here it is, sung with the other-worldly Kate Bush:

And so, I know every damn word to that beautiful song. And I don’t care where I am, if that some comes on, I’m singing it… Now more than ever.

So I sang that song as I cleaned… Not even a little bit under my breath. I sang it like I was the only one in the room. “Don’t give up… I’m proud of who you are. Don’t give up… You’re not beaten yet. Don’t give up… I know you can make it.” The song finished, and I brought them their check. It was $50. They were just girls. They looked like they were in college. I didn’t expect much from them, honestly. There’s no way they could have known that the night before was one of the worst nights I’ve had at the restaurant in probably over a year. This time of year is always slow, but it’s been REAL slow… And hard times always seem harder when you’re not making as much money. I don’t know — Maybe they thought I was singing that song to them… Telling her not to give up. They couldn’t have known that really, I was singing it to myself. Anyway, those two girls thanked me, they left me two crisp hundred dollar bills, and they told me to keep the change. They said, “Thank you so much. You have made our whole week.” 

The thin one also said, “Oh my God, I am SO FULL.”

I’m not sure what the moral of this story is… Maybe it’s that you never know what a simple act of kindness or generosity is going to do for someone. Maybe it’s that we have the power to affect the people in our paths with acts of love, kindness, & generosity. Maybe it’s that you shouldn’t judge college girls by how high maintenance they are. Maybe this post — like the Peter Gabriel song I sung last night — is more for me than it is for anyone else. Either way, I thought you might like to hear the story…

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5 Analogies To Explain Trump’s Iran Mess

Posted on January 9, 2020 by theboeskool

Yesterday the moron who is currently the president of the United States of America stood in front of a microphone, and he slurred and sniffed his way through a rambling mess of a speech about Iran…

For those of you who haven’t been following along closely at home, here is a brief timeline of how Trump got us into this mess:

  • Under President Obama’s leadership, The United States, along with China, France, Russia, Great Britain, and other counties from the European Union, signed the JCPOA (Joint Comprehensive Plan Of Action) with Iran… Commonly known as the Iran Nuclear Deal. The deal gives Iran economic reasons (including releasing previously frozen Iranian assets) to keep them from building their nuclear program, while allowing the other countries access to check their nuclear facilities.
  • Consistent with his pattern of attempting to reverse every single thing Obama while in office… and despite the fact that his own Secretary of Defense Jim Mattis says that the Iran Nuclear Deal is working… and to the dismay of all of our allies, Trump decides to pull out of the deal.
  • In the midst of his own impeachment, Trump decides to order the assassination of Iran’s 3rd in command, Major General Qassem Soleimani… a man who, by most of the world’s estimation, was a very bad man. The Trump administration says his killing was called for to prevent an attack, but they have provided no proof of this alleged imminent attack, and when pressed on it, they backed off that claim.
  • Trump threatens that if there is any retaliation for Soleimani’s assassination, the U.S. will destroy 52 Iranian sites (one for each of the 52 hostages from the Iran Hostage Crisis more than 40 years ago)… Those site including Iranian cultural sites, which would be a violation of international war crimes law. Trump has since deleted those tweets.
  • The Iraqi Parliament votes to tell U.S. troops to leave the country. NPR reports that the Iraqi Prime Minister says Trump asked him to call Soleimani for a mediation, and then he was killed by a drone strike while carrying a response to a Saudi initiative to defuse tensions in the area. Basically, the U.S. asked the Shiite Iraqis to call Soleimani to work on defusing tensions, and then they killed him.
  • As a response to the U.S. assassination of Soleimani, Iran fires 15 ballistic missiles at two U.S. military bases in Iraq. Zero U.S. soldiers are killed in the attack.
  • Less than 24 hours after the missile attack, Trump slurs his way through a garbled attempt to explain that Iran is “standing down,” despite not presenting any evidence of that claim. He pats himself on the back, and calls for a new negotiation with Iran’s nuclear program. Meanwhile, Iran has vowed to pull out of the Nuclear Deal altogether and resume their nuclear program.

  • And now here we are. Iraq wants us gone. And guess who our absence in that part of the world would benefit? If you guessed RUSSIA, you win a free Putin Puppet! And, hey — WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT! Barely anyone is talking about his impeachment anymore…

Try to imagine another country pulling out of a treaty with us, assassinating one of our Joint Chiefs, and then not only claiming that action “deescalated tensions” with us, but then having the gall to talk about us coming to the table for a new deal. Only a narcissist of a truly staggering degree could order an illegal assassination, threaten war crimes if they retaliate, do nothing while watching them fire 15 ballistic missiles at U.S. bases & inspire an Iraqi vote to kick us out of their country, and then somehow claim it as a win.

But this is what he does — He starts fires, and then he thinks he deserves credit for trying to put them out… Meanwhile, the whole rest of the world is looking at us saying, “Y’all realize you’ve got an arsonist leading your country, right?” The president cannot be both the arsonist AND a firefighter.

We saw this same pattern when he forced the longest government shutdown in U.S. history, and THEN acted like he needs to be congratulated for ending the shutdown that HE CAUSED. He is a rooster taking credit for the sunrise. He causes a crisis for farmers with his stupid tariffs, and then tries to act like a hero for giving farmers financial assistance (AKA “socialism”). This is along the same lines as someone poking you in the eyeball over and over, and then expecting a “thank you” when he decides to stop. No. You don’t get a thank you. My eye hurts because of you. You moron.

Trump is a toddler who shits his pants, and then — after being tossed in the bath tub — thinks he deserves a prize for having a clean bum. But someone else is out there washing his dirty drawers… And a lot of those stains aren’t coming out.

It would be like getting your frank & beans caught in your zipper, and then somehow taking credit for not bleeding that much on the floor of your prom date’s bathroom…

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“Well how the hell’d you get the beans above the frank?!?”

Or, if those analogies are a little too outside of the box, it would be like if a man used campaign funds to pay a porn star $130,000 to have unprotected sex with him very shortly after his third wife gave birth, and then he somehow tried to congratulate himself for how mild his case of gonorrhea has been…

He doesn’t get to be both the arsonist AND the firefighter. And the really troubling thing is this: He starts most of his fires to take attention away from the OTHER fires he has started. And before too long, everything’s on fire, and we’re wondering, “How the hell did we get here?”

Seriously though… How the hell did we get here?

 

HEY! Thank you so much for reading. If you value this blog and my writing, it would be super cool if you became a Patron. If everyone who regularly read this gave a dollar or two a month, it would help me take care of my family. You can BECOME A PATRON HERE. If you’d rather just leave a tip for a job well done, you can do that ON PAYPAL. You can also follow me on Twitter and on Facebook. But, for real though… How the hell did we get here? Speaking of which, make sure you are registered to VOTE!

 

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Impeachment, For Those Of You Who Might Be A Little Confused

Posted on December 21, 2019 by theboeskool

So listen… I realize there are a lot of folks out there who are confused about what is going on right now with this whole impeachment thing. And tonight, while I was attempting to explain the facts behind the impeachment to a man (someone who takes in almost exclusively far-right wing media), I also realized that I have a pretty decent understanding of what is happening. Over the past few weeks, I have spent a whole lot of time watching and listening to the impeachment proceedings. And I figured there might be a few people who read this blog who might appreciate some help in that regard, so here you go…

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Impeached by the House. Well, at least now he can say he won a popular vote…

Here are the basics: Ukraine is an ally of the United States. In 2014, Russia “annexed” Crimea… Which basically meant that they took it from Ukraine. That marked the first time since WWII that borders changed in Europe in this way, and Russia’s actions got them kicked out of the G8 and started a bunch of economic sanctions. Ukraine applied for membership into NATO (if you attack one NATO country, you attack them all) in 2008, but their country’s endemic corruption has worked to keep them out. Even though they are not a part of NATO, they are a U.S. ally, and we have supported them as they have faced a years long war with their neighbor Russia, who wants more of their territory.

While Obama was in office, Petro Poroshenko (a wealthy, corrupt businessman) was president of Ukraine. We supported Ukraine in their fight against Russia, but President Obama was reluctant to give them the Javelin (tank-busting) missiles you may or may not have heard about during the impeachment hearings. Any U.S. aid was celebrated by Ukrainian leadership, as well as U.S. ambassadors, as being symbolic of the United States standing with Ukraine against Russia. When Trump became president, he provided Ukraine with their congressionally approved aid in 2017 AND 2018, and — as the GOP kept bringing up over and over during the hearings — he also approved the Javelin missiles the Ukrainians had been asking for. Though, what you probably DIDN’T hear about is how Trump gave the missiles with the condition that they be stored on the Western side of Ukraine… Far away from the conflict zone with Russia on the Eastern side of Ukraine. Basically, the Javelins were given with the condition that they not be used against Russia.

In 2019, Ukraine elected Volodymyr Zelensky as president. He ran on an anti-corruption platform, but he was not a politician. He was an actor and comedian who became famous playing a role in which a regular guy becomes president. He was decidedly anti-Russia, and saw Putin “as an enemy.” Another important thing happened in 2019… Joe Biden declared his candidacy for president, and immediately became the democratic frontrunner. 

The next part is a more complicated timeline, so I don’t want to dive in so deep that people get lost… but if you are interested in knowing the exact timeline of events, HERE IS A VERY GOOD ONE made by PBS. The bullet points are here:

  • Congress approved nearly $400 million for aid to Ukraine.
  • Despite assurances from the White House, the aid is held up for months.
  • In an interview with George Stephanopoulos, Trump says that he would accept political help from a foreign government. This is not too surprising, because he requested help from Russia during his campaign… despite it being clearly illegal.
  • The day after Mueller’s testimony to congress, Trump — in a telephone call with newly elected Ukrainian President Zelensky about the aid — when Zelensky asks for  the Javelin missiles, Trump tells him “I would like you to do us a favor though,” and pressures Zelensky to investigate a discredited Russian-fed conspiracy theory about something called “Crowdstrike,” as well as announcing the start of an investigation into Joe Biden and his son Hunter. He tells Zelensky to get in touch with William Barr and — for some reason — Trump’s personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani.
  • This call leads to a whistleblower complaint filed with the intelligence community’s Inspector General where the concern was that Trump was using the power of his presidency to pressure a foreign government to investigate the Bidens.
  • Shortly after The Washington Post breaks the story of the suspended aid, and mere days before the House subpoenaed the whistleblower complaint, the White House finally releases the Ukrainian aid.
  •  A few weeks later, Nancy Pelosi announces a House Impeachment Inquiry.
  • After hearing the testimony of many brave and credible witnesses, the House votes to impeach the president for Abuse of Power and Obstruction of Congress.

The facts and the timeline of the case are not really up for debate, despite a total effort by Trump to obstruct the fact-finding mission the House set out on. When asked for documents and testimonies from key players on the President’s staff, the White House refused to turn over ANY documents, and Trump didn’t allow any members of his staff to testify, citing “presidential privilege.”

Now this brings up something important: The Republican Talking Points attempting to discredit the Impeachment and muddy the waters so their ignorant masses stay confused. Here’s the first one: “What’s the big hurry? When there is a dispute between the Legislative branch and the Executive branch, the Judicial branch settles that dispute.” It’s true that this issue of “executive privilege” is something that could be settled within the courts, but that process is very long, and could easily be drawn out by White House lawyers until LONG AFTER the 2020 election takes place… So because the nature of his crime involved trying to pressure a foreign government to affect our election, it is prudent to settle this BEFORE the next election.

Here are a few more GOP talking points, followed by the reason why they are total BS:

  • “The whistleblower started all of this, and we can’t even question him!” This is utter nonsense. Every single thing detailed in the whistleblower’s complaint has been testified to and verified by multiple other witnesses. The whistleblower program is in place so that people can report wrongdoings anonymously without fear of reprisal. Trump has called the whistleblower a “spy” and accused him of treason… Two federal crimes that carry a death sentence. The only reason the GOP focuses so much on wanting the whistleblower to testify is because they want to discourage other whistleblowers from coming forward.
  • “We are a year away… We should let the next election decide this!” This is so asinine. There is always going to be another election down the road… One of the main reasons the founders put impeachment into the Constitution is for fear that the president might use the awesome power of his office to unfairly influence the next election.

  • “This is a partisan witch hunt.” Yes. The voting has been almost entirely down party lines. But the facts of the case are clear and indisputable. The republicans have not focused on disputing the facts… They are focused on attacking the PROCESS. If it seems like it’s just democrats saying he did something wrong, then their followers can write it off as purely political. But this can also be manufactured by republicans circling their wagons and not breaking ranks… despite overwhelming evidence showing improper actions by Trump.
  • “They have been trying to impeach Trump ever since he was elected!” Well, dip shit, that might have something to do with the fact that he keeps committing a whole bunch of crimes. Imagine if a career criminal used the defense that the police have been trying to convict him for YEARS, and that shows that they are just “out to get him.” Give me a break…
  • “Hunter Biden got a well-paying job because of who his dad is.” This bothers you NOW?!? Have you dim wits ever heard of Eric, Ivanka, and Don Jr.?? When it became clear that it didn’t look good that Hunter Biden might be profiting off his dad’s name, he stepped down from his position. CAN WE EXPECT THE SAME FROM TRUMP’S KIDS?
  • “They’re trying to reverse the election. A ‘duly-elected president is being impeached.”  Seriously… All the DUHs that I have. Read the following tweet.

  • “He was just concerned with corruption.” Really? That’s what you’re going with? The guy who was just ordered to pay a $2 million fine for stealing from his own charity and ordered to pay $25 million for defrauding people with “Trump University” is worried about corruption?!? If that’s so, WHY WASN’T HE WORRIED ABOUT CORRUPTION IN 2017 & 2018 WHEN HE APPROVED THE AID TO UKRAINE WHILE THE OBJECTIVELY CORRUPT POROSHENKO WAS PRESIDENT?
  • “They are trying to impeach the president without a ‘fact witness.'” This one is full-on SMDH. The reason they are partially relying on testimony of players who are lower on the totem pole is because THE PRESIDENT REFUSES TO RELEASE ANY DOCUMENTS OR ALLOW HIS STAFF TO TESTIFY!

Please try to imagine that you were accused of committing a crime that you didn’t do, and you had documentation and material witnesses that could testify to your innocence. NOW imagine that when you are asked to turn over that evidence, you refused. Why in the world would someone who didn’t commit a crime refuse to turn over exonerating evidence? If the call was so perfect, let your staff testify…

For regular people, that action of not turning over subpoenaed materials is known as “obstruction of justice.” It is illegal, and it will get you thrown in jail. But for the president, it is only going to get him in trouble if he gets impeached… And, like I mentioned earlier, the SENATE is the jury in an impeachment. But what if you knew that seven out of the 12 jurors would not convict you, no matter how clear it was that you obstructed justice? What motivation would you have to hand over any subpoenaed materials? Especially ones that showed you are guilty…

And this is the situation we find ourselves in as a country right now — The president is very confident that there are no republican senators who will cross party lines and put country over party. He knows that the Senate, who is the jury in the impeachment trial, has 7 out of 12 jurors (or 53 votes) no matter HOW clear the evidence is that Trump is guilty of abuse of power and obstruction of Congress.

In Nixon’s impeachment, when the supreme court ruled that he had to turn over the tapes, he immediately resigned… Because he knew that the evidence was overwhelming that he was involved in illegal actions and abuse of his presidential power. This is the same thing that Donald Trump knows about the documents that surround the plot to pressure Ukraine to start an investigation on his political opponent.

I have no doubt that Donald Trump actually thinks that he “did nothing wrong.” This is the same person who, when asked about things he’s asked forgiveness for, couldn’t come up with one thing for which he felt remorse. He’s a narcissist… He NEVER thinks he’s done anything wrong. Please recall this clip of this “christian” man — the same one who cheated on all three of his wives and bragged about sexual assault — saying he’s never had a reason to ask God for forgiveness…

All he can do is name drop the name of the pastor of a church no one remembers him ever darkening the doors of… Ugh. I swear. Even encountering videos of him speaking makes me feel so gross.

Even Christianity Today sees it clearly enough to risk alienating and enraging their readers. Regardless of what happens, I can’t foresee any GOP Senator who has the character or integrity to do what’s right and tell this corrupt, festering boil on the anus of America to step down. Which is why the House is considering withholding the articles of impeachment from the Senate until they have assurances that they trial will be fair. And when the Senate republicans dishonor their oath to protect and preserve the Constitution of the United States and go AGAINST the rule of law by siding with a corrupt narcissist, this is the message that they will be sending: They will be telling a corrupt, narcissistic man — one who clearly put his own interests over the interest of our nation — that he, in fact, did nothing wrong. They will embolden a man who already believes he is above the law to commit even more crimes at the expense of our nation’s reputation and security. History will forever remember this dishonorable low point in America’s story.

If the dream that was America survives this presidency, that is…

https://twitter.com/birbigs/status/1208048354351091717

 

Thank you so much for reading! If you value my work and you’d like to say thank you, help support it, or if you’re just feeling the Christmas spirit, you can LEAVE A TIP ON PAYPAL. Or you can BECOME A PATRON and leave a couple bucks each month. Otherwise, please follow along and add to the conversation on FACEBOOK and on TWITTER. I know people are tired. I’m tired too. Look for things to be hopeful about. Lean on each other. And trust that the moral arc of the universe will bend toward justice… But it will bend a lot sooner if we all pull on it together.

Posted in 2) Politics, 5) Not Quite Sure | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

The Bat-Shit Crazy, Theocratic Man Running For Mayor Of Grand Rapids

Posted on October 3, 2019 by theboeskool

I grew up in Michigan. West Michigan, to be more precise. I spent my youth in a sheltered, idyllic little tourist beach town on the shore of Lake Michigan, and when it was time for college, I didn’t go too far away. I went to Calvin College (now Calvin University, turns out), which is in Grand Rapids. If you’re from Michigan, you definitely know about Grand Rapids, but if you’re not too familiar with the state of Michigan, you might not. People know about Detroit… They know Lansing (from middle school state capitol quizzes)… They might think of Flint (from the water crisis that no one cares about because almost all the people in Flint are black)… But Grand Rapids gets less national press. It’s actually the second largest city in Michigan. And it’s a city that I love. Even though I’m nearly 20 years removed from it, it’s still the home of some of my favorite people on the planet, and it holds — and will always hold — a special place in my heart.

Like many cities the size of Grand Rapids, it has its share of charms and its share of drawbacks. It struggles with the dysfunctional dance between growth and gentrification. It has a deeply religious history, and many of the people living there are torn between naturally conservative sensibilities and a genuine liberal concern and care for the poor and a love for social justice. In the West Michigan I grew up in, if there was an educational funding increase the schools needed, the people would vote for it. Unions just meant workers rights and middle class wages, instead of being conflated with some sort of radical socialism. But like many other palces, there has been a really gross fear growing in that part of the country, and in the 2016 election, somehow Trump won Kent County (Grand Rapids’ County) by 3 points. Despite this disappointment, I believe there is a foundational morality in west Michigan which recoils at this depraved administration and at the wholly immoral man leading it.

Very soon (November 5th), Grand Rapidians will choose their next mayor. There will be two choices on their ballot: The incumbent, democratic Mayor Rosalynn Bliss, and the republican candidate, a Grand Rapids pastor named Daniel Schutte. Now, you might be asking yourself, why is The Boeskool writing about a mayoral election for a Michigan city with fewer people than Oxnard, California (which is, by the way, the only U.S. city named after an Ox’s reproductive organs)? Well, it’s not because my readership in West Michigan is so vibrant that I think anything I say or do is going to sway the election in any meaningful way… It’s because I came across an interview that is one of the most insane, pandering, overt middle fingers to the concept of Separation of Church & State that these eyes have ever seen. It is truly something to behold… You’ll have to see it to believe it.

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I can’t even to such a degree that I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to even again…

The Grand Rapids Press, along with the website MLive.com, asked both candidates the same five questions. I will not be sharing Mayor Rosalynn Bliss’ answers. If you are interested in reading them, you can RIGHT HERE. I will just say that her answers are articulate, intelligent, policy-focused, and rational. I WILL, however, be sharing the theocratic madness that Daniel Schutte wrote. Because, seriously — I am simply STUNNED at the level of lunacy this dude is displaying. Brace yourself…


Why should voters elect you?

DS: “I would like to help all of the citizens of Grand Rapids to live a more happier, healthier and productive life based on the principles given to us in God’s holy scriptures — the Bible.”

If elected, what will your top three priorities be?

DS: 1. “To proclaim the glory and the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ, who is the only “answer” to every one of our problems and challenges.”

2. “To address the No. 1 “civil rights” issue of our day … the murder of the precious and unwanted children of Grand Rapids that may be destined to be destroyed through their murder (commonly referred to as “abortion”).”

3. “To seek to make the city of Grand Rapids a “sanctuary city” for all unwanted children destined to be murdered through abortion.”

What would you propose to improve community-police relations?

DS: “I would promote more respect for our GRPD by introducing legislation that would make cursing/assaulting a police man or woman a misdemeanor crime.”

What would you propose to address the city’s current housing challenges?

DS: “Educate in a personal way how any Grand Rapids citizen can acquire clean, adequate housing by following the principles given to us in God’s holy word — the Bible.”

The city commission will soon consider changes to the charter that could expand the ward structure and/or adjust when local elections are held. Would you support any of the proposed changes and what value do you envision in doing so?

DS: “I would not support this change.”

Those were his actual answers.

Now… If you identify as a Christian, please do me a favor and imagine that you are a Muslim or a Jew or a Hindu, and you call Grand Rapids your home… Imagine you are a person who has Rejected Jesus For All The Right Reasons… Or imagine that you are a person who does not believe in God at all… Now imagine reading this pandering, ignorant, theocratic tripe come from a person who is one of two names on the ballot for Mayor of the city you love. This garbage is the American Taliban. Seriously. Only an idiot would vote for this dude. And the really frustrating thing is that the only sort of person who would vote for this guy is the sort of person who is VERY concerned about “Sharia Law.” But the irony is that this un-American pastor/politician’s policies are as close to Sharia Law as this country will ever come.

Imagine being asked about your city’s housing challenges, and answering that you would solve those challenges by teaching everyone “God’s holy word — the Bible.” Imagine being so ignorant of the nuances of community/police relations that your prescription for fixing things is to make cursing a crime (assaulting a police officer is already a crime, DS. And this time, the “DS” stands for Dip Shit). And imagine having TIME to think about your answers & write them down, and this garbage is STILL what you come up with.  This is the sort of person who tries to solve mental illness with Bible verses, budget shortfalls with Bibles Studies, and pandemics with prayers. This man is wholly unqualified to put on a Mayor McCheese outfit… Let alone be mayor of an amazing city like Grand Rapids, Michigan.

So if you live in G-Rap, please do the right thing and vote for the only rational candidate on the mayoral ballot: Vote for Rosalynn Bliss. Or if you know someone who lives in G.R., please send them this post. Let them know Daniel Schutte is a theocratic loon who is basically the American Taliban. Remind them that the reason most of the people who fled their home countries to come here was because religion and politics/power were intertwined in a way that led to persecution. How does someone like this even get on the ballot? Ugh. This guy needs to lose so bad that it is embarrassing. This kind of theocratic BS is not America… It’s not West Michigan… And it’s definitely not Grand Rapids.

 

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Posted in 1) Jesus, 2) Politics, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

The Not-So-Subtle Sexism of Team Sports Names

Posted on September 17, 2019 by theboeskool

“Do you go to a doctor? Or a LADY doctor…”

“Did you get pulled over by a police officer? Or by a LADY police officer…”

“Does your church have a pastor? Or a LADY pastor…”

Imagine if asking questions like these was considered appropriate. Imagine the psychological effects it would have on our girls and young women to grow up in a culture where the default gender for all professions was male, and if a woman happened to work her way into that same profession, people felt the need to throw a “LADY” in front of it.

This is what we are doing to girls and young women in our society when we divide middle school and high school sports teams into “The [Insert Team Name]s” and “The LADY [Insert Team Name]s.” How is it okay that the presumed gender for a sports team is male, and if it’s NOT male, then they have to let you know by putting a “lady” in front of it? How is it 2019, and we are still distinguishing between going to watch The Wildcats play, or going to watch The Lady Wildcats? The Eagles, or The Lady Eagles? The Tigers, or The Lady Tigers? And what does that distinction do to the hearts and minds of the young women who have so much to learn and gain from the experience of organized sports?

My oldest daughter is a freshman in high school this year, and every day I get updates on a GroupMe about her soccer practices and games and whatnot. And with every message that comes in, I am reminded of the ridiculousness that is this idea of throwing a “LADY” in front of the school’s team nickname/mascot. It drives me crazy. There is nothing particularly masculine or feminine about a Panther or a Bear… Or a Bulldog or a Bobcat… Or a Pioneer or a Warrior.

There are other options. For instance, “The UCB (University of Chris Boeskool) Fighting Hyenas Men’s Volleyball Team” and “The UCB Fighting Hyenas Women’s Volleyball team.” How frigging hard is that? But calling them The Hyenas and The LADY Hyenas is just stupid. And insulting. And needlessly sexist.

Who knows… Maybe this is why women are so kick ass. Maybe the reason women today are — by and large — so much more impressive than men is because they have to overcome way more crap like this. They have to work harder. They have to fight against the expectation that they can’t… At least not as well. But regardless of the outcome, it is undeniably stupid to divide athletics into “Default” and “Lady Distinction.”

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Good luck mating those lions, Noah. #MarriageEquality

I’ve written before about the ingrained sexism in our language in a post called “Feeling ‘Manly,’ And Other Lies.” The word “Manly” has synonyms in the thesaurus like Courageous, Bold, Heroic, Noble, Self-Reliant, Virile, Brave, Confident, Fearless, Powerful, Lion-Hearted, Resolute, Stately, Strong… With MANY other virtuous characteristics. While the only synonyms the word “Womanly” has are the following words: Female, Girlish, Ladylike, Maidenly, Matronly, Motherly, and Womanish. This obviously needs to change. And when we elect a woman to be president next year, it will hopefully be a big step in that direction.

In the meantime, if your local middle school or high school is separating their teams into “The Lions” and “The Lady Lions” (or other such nonsense), take a couple minutes to call the school and voice your displeasure. Ask to speak to the principal about it. Talk to the athletic director, and ask him or her (let’s be honest, 95% of the time in high school, it’s probably going to be a “him”) why the default sports mascot is male. Why not “The Grizzlies” and “The GUY Grizzlies?” Give them some time to try to explain it, and listen to them fumble over their words. Ask them if they took education classes or LADY education classes. Then let them know it’s time for them to change…

This has been the longest break between blog posts that I have ever taken since I started writing almost 8 years ago. I’m sorry if you have missed me. I’m not going to go into details right now, but I’ll just say that this last month and a half has easily been the most difficult time of my life. I am so very thankful for those of you who continue to support this blog and my writing.

During this break, I have been working on the book I’m writing. I’m about halfway done! I think you’re going to love it. If you’d like to become a Patron, you can DO THAT HERE. If you’d like to leave a tip on PayPal, you can CLICK RIGHT HERE. Otherwise, you can follow me ON TWITTER and ON FACEBOOK. I love you people. AND I love you LADY people.

 

Posted in 2) Politics, 5) Not Quite Sure | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments